


Another Belief Betrayed

by shadowfax044



Category: Criminal Minds, Glee
Genre: (typical for Criminal Minds that is), -Ish, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Biromantic Homosexual Character, Bisexual Character(s), Canon-Typical Violence, Case Fic, Complicated Relationships, Discussion of Forced Prostitution, Discussion of Forced Prostitution of a Minor, Discussion of Rape, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, Femslash, Friends as Family, Friends to Lovers, Gay Character(s), Het, High School, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Multi, Music, Polyamory, Slash, Straight Character(s), Unrequited Love, relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-19
Updated: 2016-12-19
Packaged: 2018-09-09 16:48:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 10
Words: 33,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8900089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadowfax044/pseuds/shadowfax044
Summary: Rachel’s moment of petty vindictiveness could have ruined an innocent man’s life, except that, luckily for her, Sandy Ryerson turned out to be the opposite of innocent. An investigation into the life of this Small Town, USA music teacher leads the Lima Police Department to call in the big guns. When Puck discovers why the Feds are in town, he’s going to need all the support he can get—even, or maybe especially, the support that comes from unlikely sources.





	1. Prologue: Tomorrow's Getting Harder

**Author's Note:**

> I have read another story here on AO3 ( _Third-Degree Felony_ by patchfire and raving_liberal—it’s a fantastic read, I highly recommend it) that addresses Puck’s “pool cleaning” business in the serious way forced child prostitution should be viewed. However, despite the fantastic writing, my OTP in this series is an OT3, and I suffered through a deficiency of Kurt through the whole fic. So when I heard about the Glee Xover Big Bang, I knew exactly what story I needed to write.
> 
> **A couple things to keep in mind as you read:**
> 
>  **1)** I have changed around a few timeline things and minor canon elements as far as _Glee_ canon goes. As far as I know, all instances of this were on purpose. If you notice something slightly altered, assume it's meant to be that way. And there are a TON of changes to the canon of _Criminal Minds_ , which is also intentional.  
>  **2)** There's a lot of legal stuff in this story. I have no experience in this field, so if you note a mistake, please forgive it. Or complain to me in a comment so that I won't mess it up in the future; that works, too!  
>  **3)** Although I love the characters from Glee, I find it very difficult to watch the show for any length of time. They take their satire far too seriously, and it makes it almost impossible to laugh at most things, at least for me. The purpose of this story is to be much more realistic about what life is/can be like for high school students growing up in the rural American Midwest. And I’m drawing on personal experience, so hopefully you’ll agree that this is a little more true-to-life than the show was.
> 
> And last, but most certainly not least, a _**huge**_ "Thank you!" to greeniron for the beautiful art to go with the story!

 

 

 

JUNE, IN SPRINGFIELD, VIRGINIA

“You’re doing the right thing.”

Except Aaron was pretty sure he wasn’t. And the more Haley insisted that this was the course he should be taking with his life, the more his skin itched with the wrongness of it.

“Getting suspended was a blessing in disguise,” Haley went on, her voice sounding oddly dreamy. “We deserve a normal life.”

 _Normal life_. The words echoed inside Aaron’s brain for a moment.

The problem was that, the longer they were together, the more Aaron realized that normal—or, at least, what Haley meant by “normal”—wasn’t what would make him truly happy.

 

 

A YEAR LATER, IN LIMA, OHIO

“You’re doing a fan _tastic_ job,” Mrs. Hurtado praised, laying a hand on Puck’s bare shoulder. “When you’ve finished, why don’t you come inside for a drink? You can take some time to cool down before you head out.”

“Thanks, Mrs. H,” Puck said, smiling at her over his shoulder.

 

An hour later, as he left the Hurtado house with fifty dollars in his pocket, Puck couldn’t help but feel... detached. Had that really just happened?

Had Mr. Clay known, when he told Puck the Hurtados needed someone to clean their pool...? _No_ , Puck thought hesitantly, _he couldn’t have actually **meant** for that to happen._

_Could he?_

But when he got back to his family’s apartment and saw Mr. Clay leaning against the wall next to their front door, he realized that the man _had_ known. He’d sent Puck there to.... He’d done it on _purpose_.

“Finish the job?” Clay asked, straightening up and staring Puck down.

Straightening his shoulders and acting as casually as possible, Puck nodded. “Yeah.”

“Good, good,” Clay answered, eyes narrowing. “How much?”

“Fifty bucks.” Puck forced his breathing to remain steady. He didn’t like the look on Clay’s face, and he _really_ didn’t like where this conversation was going.

“You know,” Clay continued, words casual but his tone just the opposite, “since I’m the one who set you up with the job, I should be getting a cut, don’t you think?”

 _Shit_. Well, there went the only upside to this fucked-up situation. “How much?”

“Forty percent. That means—”

“Twenty bucks,” Puck cut in. _Fuck you, I might act dumb but I’m not **actually** stupid, you fucker._

Clay waited with his hand out, and Puck counted out the man’s cut. When he was satisfied, Clay looked up and smirked. As he walked away, he called back, “Pleasure doing business with you, Puckerman. I’ll call you tomorrow with a list of jobs for you for the next week.”

As soon as the man was gone, Puck barricaded himself in his room, blasted his music, and put his face in his pillow. Even if his mom and sister came home early, at least they wouldn’t hear him crying into his pillow like a wuss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Bon Jovi's "It's My Life."


	2. Ch 1: Take My World

Will walked into the staff lunch room on Wednesday to a tumult of noise. Everyone was chatting animatedly. He made a beeline for Emma; as the school counselor, she probably knew what the fuss was about.

“Hey, Emma.”

“Oh! Hi, Will.”

He pulled out a chair and sat down. “What’s got everyone so excited?”

Emma’s face took on a concerned look. “I guess you haven’t heard, then? One of the students apparently saw Sandy sexually harassing another student. He’s been fired, and the police are investigating him.”

“Oh, wow,” Will whispered. “I never would have.... When did all this happen?”

“The student that reported it went to Figgins’s office right after school yesterday.”

Will hummed a bit under his breath. “Are they sure? I mean, that’s a pretty serious accusation.”

Obviously surprised, Emma blinked at him. “I’ve been trying to get his male students to admit to misconduct for years, but no one would do it. They were all too scared, I think. When I think of how many boys have been through this....” She sighed and shook her head. “I think it’d be better for the mental health of... the person he was touching inappropriately if he would have come forward himself, but at least it’s been reported at all.”

As Emma explained her years of worry without any kind of proof that would allow her to take action, Will considered the situation. Although initially he had been shocked beyond belief, the more he thought about it, and the more Emma talked, the more he wasn’t sure that Sandy had been falsely accused. Then something occurred to him. “If Sandy’s been fired... who’s going to take over glee club?”

 

In early September, a few days after they sent the murdering exorcist back to Italy, JJ called the team to the jet on a Wednesday night to present a new, time-sensitive case. When they’d reached cruising altitude, JJ handed out the pertinent files to the rest of the team.

“We’ve got a missing seventeen-year-old boy, but this isn’t the usual missing persons case. This one is... well, ‘different’ is a bit of an understatement.” From her own folder, she pulled out a picture of a bald man in a pastel button-up with a sweater tied around his neck. “This man is Sandy Ryerson, a resident of Lima, Ohio. He’s the choir teacher at the local high school. Yesterday after school, a student of his claimed she saw him inappropriately touching another student. The local PD initiated an investigation, and as part of that, they set a time to interview the student he was allegedly harassing, who is underage and therefore has to have a parent present during questioning. They planned to go over to the home first thing tomorrow morning, but....”

JJ pulled out another photo, this time of a good-looking brunette boy. “This is Hank Saunders, age seventeen. He’s the student that was being sexually harassed. When his mother came home from work at eight thirty this evening, the back door had been forced open and Hank was nowhere to be found. As soon as the Police Chief heard there was a missing child, he called me.”

“Have they narrowed down the time of abduction?” Spencer asked as he closed his file; naturally, he’d already finished reading every word.

“Local PD puts the time of his disappearance between seven forty-eight and eight thirty, when the mother returned home, based on the time stamp of the last social media post that Hank made.”

Emily hummed. “Assuming that the kidnappers didn’t make the post themselves.”

Cocking his head, Dave asked, “Kidnappers, plural?”

“Well, this was obviously a coordinated effort. It’s not a coincidence that Hank goes missing the night before he’s going to talk to the police about his harassment at the hands of his teacher.” Emily pointed to a spot on one of the pages in the report. “It says here that the school counselor suspected inappropriate interest on Ryerson’s part, but she never had any proof that he’d acted on anything, because his students weren’t talking. Now he’s been fired, is in police custody, and is being investigated, and the boy who can give first-hand accounts of whatever his sins might be gets abducted out of his house? This is bigger than it appears at first glance. Someone else had to have wanted to prevent the boy from talking if they abducted him on their own.”

“I’ll give you that, but why not just a partner trying to get suspicion off of Ryerson?”

JJ shook her head. “Firstly, the partner would have to be pretty stupid to think that might work. Ryerson was _seen_ sexually harassing his student, there was no getting out of that. And secondly, Hank is a young man who’s fast and tough.” She pointed to a file page that was all about Hank’s background. “He’s a junior, and he’s competed in track and field on the state level three years already. And he’s on the football team. The team isn’t great, apparently, but Hank’s record as a lineman is. There would have had to be at least two attackers to subdue him enough that no neighbors heard or saw anything.”

Dave smiled at JJ and Emily and nodded, conceding the point.

With a sigh, Derek leaned forward. “I have a feeling this thing is a lot more intense than anything this tiny town has encountered before, for damn sure.”

Penelope, who was along for the ride this time, nodded decisively. “If Hank ever typed _anything_ about what was going on, I’ll find it. And there’s bound to be some clue in Scumbag McScummerson’s computer, too.” She turned to Aaron. “Please tell me I get to tear into his cyberspace, sir.”

“Of course,” Aaron answered, quirking a tiny smile.

“Oh, he is going _down_!” Penelope snarled.

 

“ _The FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Team is reportedly on their way to Lima to assist in the search. If you have any information on the abduction or current whereabouts of Hank Saunders, pictured here, you are asked to call the 800 number on your screen._ ”

Puck stood, staring blank-faced at the television. His mother and sister were sitting on the couch, eating Chinese takeaway and enjoying being blissfully ignorant of Puck’s panic.

He knew Ryerson was a letch. Hell, everyone knew that! Puck had even suspected that he... that the guys at school that he touched were....

That they were in a situation similar to his own.

And now, Rachel Berry (the whole school knew it was her, despite the fact that Miss Pillsbury and the cops insisted on maintaining “confidentiality”) had reported Mr. Ryerson, he’d been arrested, and Hank, who was supposed to get interviewed by the police, had been kidnapped.

If Puck’s life hadn’t been fucked before, it certainly would be now.

The _FBI_ was coming to town, and whether Puck liked it or not, people—his mom, his sister, his Rabbi, Finn, _everyone in fucking Lima, Ohio_ —were going to find out what he was, what he’d done, that he’d let all those women, those married women who were twice his age and didn’t care about him or the fact that he didn’t want to be there and only wanted to....

He stopped that thought in its tracks and, with the ease that only comes from years of practice, shoved down the thoughts he wasn’t ready to think just yet, turned to the couch, and sat down to eat his dinner.

Somehow, Puck managed to act as if his world wasn’t about to come crashing down around his ears.

 

The locals greeted the BAU team as they stepped out of the Bureau SUVs.

“Amelia Evanston,” one of the detectives said, reaching a hand out to JJ. “I’m the lead detective on the Ryerson case. And this is my partner, Andre Williams.”

“Good to meet you,” JJ offered before introducing the rest of the team.

As they all walked into the local PD, Aaron asked, “What measures are you taking in the search for Hank?”

“Every officer that isn’t sick or out of town is on duty. Most of them are out canvasing the town, and the rest are here, fielding calls and trying to puzzle out why the hell this boy was taken in the first place.”

Penelope moved to the front of the group to ask Evanston, “I assume you can get me access to Hank’s computer, and Ryerson’s, yes?”

Williams was the one to answer her. “We’ve got everything set up for you already, if you’ll follow me?”

The rest of the team went with Evanston to the conference room, where they’d set up evidence boards and other materials for the BAU. “If there’s anything else you need, we’ll make it happen. Just tell me how we can help.” She sighed, her shoulders deflating. “Cases like this are bad enough without the kidnapping piling on top. We’ve never had something like this before, and I’m afraid we’re just… not equipped to handle it.”

Emily put a gentle hand on her shoulder. “That’s what we’re here for, to help you _become_ equipped to handle this case.”

The team started pouring over the evidence. Penelope focused all of her efforts on uncovering the things that Hank and McScummerson had tried their best to electronically bury. Spencer went through all of Hank’s school records while Evanston started sorting through the boy’s social media posts over the last three months. The school counselor was there, and Derek went to interview her while Emily and JJ spoke to Hank’s mother. And Aaron and David went to interview Ryerson, who was still in a holding cell at the PD.

 

“I’m telling you,” Ryerson was saying in a steady, slow, condescending voice that was fooling no one, “this has all been a _huge_ misunderstanding. I wasn’t touching Mr. Saunders inappropriately at all. It’s perfectly normal for a choir instructor to assist his students in achieving the correct posture to hold while singing to improve tone quality.”

Aaron smacked his hands down onto the table, startling Ryerson for a moment, though he recovered quickly. “Cut the crap, Ryerson. We’ve spoken to the school counselor. She said she’d have reported you for inappropriate conduct years ago if any of your students hadn’t been too afraid of you to admit what you were doing to them.”

In a moment of rage at Emma Pillsbury for what she’d thought of him and what she’d obviously told the police, Sandy briefly forgot himself. “It wasn’t _me_ they were afraid of! I’ve always taken good care of those boys!”

“But you know _who_ they were afraid of,” Dave said softly, leaning forward in his chair. “Don’t you, Sandy? And you had no intention of helping to keep them safe from those they were scared of, did you?”

Ryerson sat back in his seat and refused to say another word.

 

Spencer cursed as he looked over Evanston’s shoulder at her computer screen. She had copied all of the entries that she had thought might be important to the investigation, which was helpful, but Spencer didn’t think anything there would unravel this mystery. “This isn’t enough. We need to go back farther. There’s a definite tone of depression and anxiety in his recent posts, but it’s just as prominent as those he put up three months ago. Whatever’s going on in his life, it’s been going on for a long while.”

“Here,” Evanston said, pulling up older posts on the laptop in the room. “How far back should we go?”

After thinking for a moment, Spencer said, “Go back to a few months before his fifteenth birthday, his freshman year.”

 

“So you’ve suspected for a while, then, that Ryerson was behaving inappropriately?”

Emma nodded sharply, twisting a fresh tissue in her hands. “Yes, almost since I started at the school six years ago. I could even give you names of boys I think were being mistreated. But when I tried to speak to them, they all either denied anything was going on or pretended they didn’t know what I was alluding to.” She sniffled and wiped her nose again, then dropped the tissue in the garbage can and reached for another clean one. “I even came down to the station last year, for Hank, actually. Detective Evanston was so nice, but there was nothing they could legally do unless someone saw something, or if a… victim was willing to come forward. That kind of accusation can’t be acted on without reasonable cause, considering the damage it could do to an innocent person’s reputation.” Her voice had steadily become more frustrated, and tears started gathering in her eyes again. “A lot of good that’s done Hank, though, hasn’t it?!”

Derek gently held her wrist for a moment. “I understand your frustration. It bothers me, too, how limited the system can sometimes be. Especially because….” Derek hesitated for a moment. It was still difficult, even after all these years, to admit to his own past. “I can tell you from personal experience how tough it is for a boy in Hank’s situation to feel like there is _any_ adult that he can trust enough to talk to about this kind of thing. Or that they could actually do anything to help him, even if he was comfortable enough to say something to them. He’s lost all his faith in the ability or desire of adults to help kids without asking for something from the kid in return.”

“Oh,” Emma said softly, lowering the tissue. “Oh, Agent Morgan, I’m _so sorry_.”

He gave her a weak smile. “I was one of the lucky ones. I got through it, and I’ve spent my adult life trying to make the world a safer place for kids like me.”

She returned his smile and patted the hand still on her wrist. “If what Detective Evanston tells me about your team’s success rate is true, seems to me you’re doing a good job of it.”

 

“Are you and Hank close?” Emily asked as JJ made Bethany Saunders a fresh cup of coffee.

She wiped the newest tears away and shook her head gently. “Not as much as we used to be. His father and I divorced when he was ten, and we haven’t seen him since. We were like two peas in a pod, even before then, but we became especially close once it was just the two of us. It wasn’t until… maybe Hank’s freshman or sophomore year of high school, that he started becoming more distant.”

JJ handed over the coffee. “Do you know what it was that made him pull back?”

“I assumed it was just that he was a teenager, going through puberty, you know?” She took a fortifying drink before lowering the cup, staring into it unseeingly. “But with what I’ve just found out… I can’t believe I didn’t think to question it more than that!” She set the cup down, stood, and went to the corner of the room, hiding her tears from the other women in the room.

JJ followed and laid a hand on her shoulder. “You can’t blame yourself. We’ve seen enough of these cases to know just how well a person, even a child, can hide the fact that this kind of thing is happening to them. And usually it’s out of love that they hide it. He didn’t want you to worry about him.”

Bethany turned around, eyes red and puffy. “I’m his mother. It doesn’t matter if he’s the happiest man on Earth. I’m still going to worry about him.”

“He knows that,” Emily said with a sad smile. “That’s why he did everything he could not to make it worse.”

“Are you… are you going to be able to find my son? Will he come home safe?”

JJ gave her an understanding look. “We are doing everything in our power to make that happen. We’ll bring Hank home, Bethany.” The fact that she couldn’t promise that he’d be safe when they did so went unsaid, but not unheard.

 

“You. Complete. _Sicko!_ ” Penelope yelled at her computer screen. “Oh, I’ve got you now, you utter _bastard_!”

Williams rolled his chair over. “What have you found?”

“I finally cracked into the first encrypted file.”

“Oh, god,” Williams whispered, his face paling. “I think I’m gonna be sick.”

Penelope gave him a considering look, and decided she believed him. “Why don’t you go let the rest of my team know what we found, and find out how they’re doing? We need to collate our information.”

With a grateful nod, Williams stood and walked toward the door. “Right away, Miss Garcia.”

When he was gone, Penelope ignored the light blush on her face at the address and went back to hacking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Daughtry's "All These Lives."


	3. Ch 2: It Comes to the Truth

Before Williams had made it to the interview rooms, Evanston came bursting from the conference room, her cell phone to her ear. “They’ve found him. A bus is _en route_ , and we’ll meet them at the hospital. Dr. Reid is gathering the rest of the BAU to inform them. Let’s go.”

 

 _“We’ve just been informed that Hank Saunders has been recovered by Lima Police,”_ the reporter on the screen was now saying.

“Oh, thank goodness,” Sarah Puckerman was saying as she stroked her daughter’s hair. “His poor mother must have been going out of her mind.”

But Puck couldn’t relax yet.

_“He is apparently being taken to Kindred Hospital here in Lima, though no details have been released to us as to his condition.”_

Puck sank into a chair. They might as well have said that Hank was in critical condition, telling people that he was being taken to Kindred Hospital instead of Lima Memorial. Everyone knew that Kindred was where you went for critical cases or specialized care. At least, _Puck_ knew that, because his mom worked there as a medical assistant; maybe most people watching the news wouldn’t know that offhand like he did.

Hannah, Puck’s little sister, seemed to catch on, too. “Is he gonna be okay, Mom?”

“I don’t know, sweetie,” she whispered, dropping a kiss on her forehead. “I hope so.”

Puck closed his eyes and hoped against hope that his sister wouldn’t be asking that about _him_ anytime soon.

 

JJ was at the hospital with Bethany Saunders and Detectives Williams and Evanston. They had just been informed that Hank was being taken to emergency surgery.

Bethany clutched JJ’s hand. “What kind of surgery, Doctor?”

“His left leg has a severe break that needs to be set, and he has three gashes that need to be surgically closed. While those injuries will take some considerable time to heal, I have no doubt that they _will_ heal.”

Bethany sighed a bit in relief, but then she looked at the doctor sharply. “And are there any other injuries?”

“Yes,” he said, obviously upset. “It seems he took at least one serious blow to the head, which no doubt has caused a concussion. It’s likely that it will take some time for him to wake up, even after being brought out of surgery. And…” the doctor sighed, looking down for a moment to collect himself before looking back up at Hank’s mother. “We haven’t done a full examination, but the paramedics that brought him here in the ambulance are fairly certain he’s been raped.”

With a choked sob, Bethany’s knees gave out. JJ and Williams gently grabbed her arms and lowered her slowly to the floor, holding her as she cried. After a minute or so, JJ managed to coax her into a chair in the waiting area of the Emergency department. JJ sat with her while the detectives spoke to the physician about Hank’s specific injuries and evidence collection procedures.

Bethany’s sobs soon quieted, but silent tears continued to flow down her cheeks for hours afterward.

 

“Sir, sir!” Penelope was moving as quickly as her ridiculous heels would let her, rushing through the police department to talk to Aaron. “Agent Hotchner, sir, we’ve got a big problem, and I’m talking the size of a blue whale.”

“Spit it out, Garcia,” Hotch said, already dreading what was coming.

“Sir, if there had been any indication… right, spitting, sorry. TL;DR is that, in trying to open up the myriad of encrypted files on McScummerson’s computer, I… accidentally triggered a sequence that completely wiped the hard drive.” Her voice had gone very quiet at the end.

Derek spun around and kicked a chair leg, sending it skidding. Emily’s hand went to her forehead. With bated breath, Penelope waited for Aaron to rip her a new one, but he surprised her.

“What the hell is ‘tillder’?”

She let out a short, shocked laugh and said, “It’s geek speak for ‘too long; didn’t read,’ sir.”

His confused expression cleared, a concerned one taking its place. “You’re certain none of the files are recoverable?”

Tilting her head, Penelope considered for a moment. “I don’t believe so, not from this computer. But considering that he’s tech-savvier than I gave him credit for and actually knew how to embed a program to wipe the drive, I doubt that this computer was his only copy. Whether he’s got hard copies of all of that utter _shit_ somewhere else, or whether he has another computer that hasn’t been recovered yet, or maybe just an external hard drive…. Well, I imagine all of this stuff is somewhere else in his possession, too, I just don’t know where.”

Dave nodded. “It’s the foot soldiers’ turn, then. Morgan and I will go out to Ryerson’s house and search. Garcia, look into his records, see if there are any other properties he owns, a storage unit he rents, anything at all. If he has copies anywhere, we’ll find them.”

Feeling better now that there might be a way to fix her mistake, Penelope loped back to her computer.

Aaron gave David a nod. “If you find anything, or if it’s after midnight and you’re still searching, head to the hotel and get some rest.”

“Whatever you say, boss,” Dave answered, smirking slightly. Derek shook his head with a smile as he followed Dave out of the building.

“Prentiss,” Aaron said, turning to the other two in the room. “I want you to speak to Emma Pillsbury again. Ask her how she thinks we could best organize a way to speak to all of the high school students tomorrow. Make sure it’s in small groups; they listen better that way. If the whole school is packed into the gym, we won’t make enough of an impression on them.”

“On it,” Emily said, squeezing Aaron’s arm briefly as she passed him on her way to meet with the guidance counselor.

Aaron sighed and sank into a chair, his head in his hands.

Spencer walked up behind him and began to massage Aaron’s shoulders. “And what about me, boss? What are my orders?”

Groaning in appreciation of the massage, Aaron said, “Keep doing that.”

With a smirk, Spencer leaned down and whispered saucily, “Yes, sir.”

Aaron snorted and shook his head. “ _Later_. Right now, we need to figure out the best way to get two thousand teenagers to want to talk to us.”

Spencer groaned, with much less enthusiasm than Aaron had been employing a moment earlier. “Jack’s difficult enough, and he’s not even four yet!”

Chuckling, Aaron stood and grabbed a notepad and pen. “Come on, Reid. Let’s get this done so we can get some sleep.”

“And then we’ll start all over again tomorrow.”

They shared exhausted smiles.

 

The next morning, Puck called Finn up to ask for a ride to school. He just… didn’t feel comfortable walking all that way alone today. Not after everything with Hank.

 _After_ , he thought with a scoff, _as if that shit is over._

As soon as Finn put his truck in park, Puck climbed up into the passenger seat. “Thanks for the ride, dude.”

Finn shrugged. “No problem. I wouldn’t want to walk to school alone today, either. It’s cool.”

Puck’s face whipped around, and he stared at Finn in fear. “What d’you mean?”

“Dude,” Finn said as he backed up, his voice suggesting he couldn’t believe Puck didn’t get it. “Didn’t you see the news last night? Somebody kidnapped Saunders. He’s in the fucking hospital. Nobody should be wandering around alone right now, you know?”

Relaxing a little, Puck said, “Oh, yeah, I saw it. I just didn’t think you would have.”

Finn pulled a face. “Nothing better on TV last night.”

“Dude,” Puck complained, genuinely laughing. _Thank fuck for Finn_ , he couldn’t help thinking, smiling as his best friend drove them toward McKinley.

 

When he and Finn walked into Spanish class second period, though, the smile dropped away completely.

Those people in suits had to be Feds.

 _What the fuck are they doing HERE?_ Puck wondered. _Shouldn’t they be out there catching the son of a bitch that kidnapped Hank and landed him in the ER?_

Finn and Puck took their seats behind Kurt Hummel and some guy whose name Puck could never remember. Doing his damnedest to avoid looking at the Feds, Puck turned to Finn. “What do you think they’re doing here?”

Kurt turned around and raised an eyebrow at Puck. “I don’t know why I’m surprised to learn you don’t watch the local news, Puckerman.”

“Actually, nancy boy, I _do_ watch the local news. I just want to know why they’re _here_ instead of out looking for the guy that kidnapped Saunders. Unless they think a high school kid did it, which would be fucking stupid of them.”

A speculative look came over Kurt’s face. He looked like he wanted to say something in response, but Mr. Schuester called their attention just at that moment, and, to Puck’s relief, Kurt turned around to face the front of the room.

“Okay, class, as you can see, we’ve got some guests here today. Instead of our usual Spanish lesson, some people from the FBI are going to talk to you for a while. They’re going to make sure to talk to every student today, so you might see them more than once, but it’s really important that you all pay attention, alright?” The class gave a vaguely affirmative murmur, and Mr. Schuester let the black guy have the floor.

“Hey, kids. My name’s Agent Morgan, and this is one of my team mates, Agent Prentiss. I’m sure most of you have heard, but just in case you haven’t….” The two agents spent the next few minutes updating everyone on what had happened:  the accusation, Ryerson’s arrest, Hank’s disappearance and recovery, the fact that he was in the hospital and would be for quite a while.

When they’d finished recapping what had been going on, Agent Prentiss said, “You’re probably wondering why we’re telling you this. The reason is because this appears to be something much larger in scale than a simple case of a teacher abusing his power. Someone else kidnapped and hurt Hank while Ryerson was in custody.” She took a moment to look each student in the face. “In light of that, it’s highly likely that Hank wasn’t the only teenager in Lima who has gotten caught up in whatever this is. If _any_ of you have any information at all, we need you to come forward. Even if you just think something felt off, or if you think what you know isn’t related, we still want you to come to us. Any information could prove to be helpful.”

Agent Morgan nodded in agreement. “We also know that some of you will have something to share, but be frightened to. I’m telling you this now:  none of you are going to be in trouble. If you or someone you know is involved in this somehow, that kid hasn’t done anything wrong. There are adults who have been taking advantage of you, scaring you, maybe even outright hurting or threatening you or your families. You are not to blame. And anything you say to us is completely confidential.”

“We’re handing out business cards,” Agent Prentiss said as she picked up a stack, “and everyone is required to take one. Even if you’re sure you don’t know anything helpful, that might change later.” She didn’t mention that it would be easier for those who wanted a card to take one if it was a requirement, because that would keep them from being singled out.

 

Puck surreptitiously slipped the card into his jeans pocket on his way out the door.

He didn’t see Kurt behind him, watching the movement and wondering if there was a legitimate reason that Puckerman had been so cruel to him this year. Not that they’d ever been friends, but Kurt had never seen Puck be as hurtful as he had been since school started.

As he made his way to his next class, Kurt considered whether it might be a good idea to offer Puck his support. But then, it might hurt even worse if he offered and was shot down with as much venom as Puck had shown when throwing him into the dumpster last Tuesday.

Kurt didn’t know what he should do, exactly, but he knew he should do _something_.

 

Just Puck’s luck, his third and seventh hour classes both had Feds in them, too. During his third period, the new suits—well, one suit and one woman dressed in the most crazy-ass outfit he’d ever seen, anyway—told them that you either had to show them a card you’d gotten in a previous class or you were taking a new one. In order to keep the other kids from noticing something was up with him, he’d pretended like he had tossed his, which meant a second one went in his pocket.

And apparently, he’d have to do that in this class, too. Puck was so _done_ with this shit. As soon as classes ended, he was heading straight for the locker room to get ready for practice, and then he was telling Finn to invite him over to play video games so he could get his mind off of all this.

“It’s really important that you tell us if something is up, guys,” the woman was saying. “Whoever did this to your classmate, teammate, friend? They’re very dangerous people. If you or someone you know is involved, it’s possible that they’re in danger. Which means their family and possibly their friends are in danger, too.”

The old guy with the beard said, “We know it’s scary. This kind of thing is very personal. You might be embarrassed or ashamed, or someone you care about might be feeling those things. But we can’t protect you if we don’t know who needs our protection. So if you know anything, _please_ come forward.”

 _Shit,_ Puck thought faintly. _Oh, god, I hadn’t even thought about Mom and Hannah maybe being in danger. Why didn’t I think of that?! Fucking Christ, what am I going to do…?_

As Puck was taking another card, he noticed Hummel, who sat in the front of this class, staring at him again. _What the fuck is_ wrong _with him today?_

 

As soon as the last of his classmates left their sophomore Literature class, Kurt walked straight up to the exceedingly fashionable FBI lady. “Um, excuse me? Miss Garcia, right?”

She smiled at him brightly. “That’s my name! What can I do for you, honey?”

Kurt gave her a tentative smile. “You guys have been telling us to speak up, even if we’re not sure it’ll help, right?”

“Absolutely,” she responded, her voice more serious. She turned to her partner and said, “Rossi? I think you’ll want to hear this.”

The three of them settled into desks, and the agents looked to Kurt expectantly. He heaved a deep breath before beginning. “Until today, I thought it was just a… homophobia thing,” he admitted softly, his gaze dropping to his lap. Miss Garcia placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Oh, honey,” she said softly. “High school really sucks, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah,” he half-laughed. “Anyway, since we came back to school, Puck—um, Noah Puckerman, but everybody calls him Puck—has been… particularly cruel. He’s always been a bit of a jerk, calling people names and stuff, but this year… he’s gotten more physical. The teachers here either see and don’t understand, or see and don’t care. I thought it was just that… it’s getting harder to hide who I am, but still be comfortable at the same time. That he’d figured it out and decided to pick on me for it.

“But then today… I don’t know. He’s taking this stuff with Hank _way_ more seriously than I would have expected him to. And he told you that he’d thrown out the card he had, but I saw him try to sneak the card from first period into his pocket without anyone noticing, and I know some of the other agents were in another class of his because I heard him mention it at lunch, so he probably did that twice. Even his best friend, Finn Hudson, was giving him confused looks today. I… I don’t know anything specific, but… if this thing with Hank has anything to do with how he’s been treating me and some of the other students this year, then I want him to get _help_ , not detention.” He thought about what he’d said for a second, then corrected himself. “Not _just_ detention. He deserves that, too.”

Both agents were smiling at him when he looked back up at them. The man, Agent Rossi, said, “That’s a wonderful attitude, son. You said his name is Noah Puckerman? Any chance he’s still in the school?”

 

“Puckerman!”

Puck turned to see Coach waving to him from the door between the locker room and the hallway. Feeling uneasy, Puck set down his pads and followed Coach Tanaka out into the hallway.

Miss Pillsbury was there.

_Fuck!_

“Noah, could you come with me? We’re missing some paperwork for you that the school needs to have on file.”

Giving her a suspicious look, Puck slowly nodded. “Yeah, okay. Am I gonna miss practice?”

With a sympathetic look, Miss Pillsbury nodded. “Probably. But since it’s a school matter, I’m sure Coach Tanaka won’t penalize you.” Her expression became much sharper as she looked at Coach.

“Oh, hmm, yes, of course. Kid’s gotta be squared away so he can play. Obviously.”

Puck was almost certain that he saw Miss Pillsbury roll her eyes as she turned away to lead Puck to her office. His respect for the woman rose a bit, despite the situation he was sure he was about to walk into.

 

Emma looked at the boy sitting on the other side of her desk. His shoulders were hunched, his head down, tension in every line of his body. She clasped her hands together and laid them on the desk before clearing her throat. “Noah, it’s been brought to my attention that your behavior this year has… taken a bit of a nosedive. And according to a few individuals, you’ve seemed… even less like yourself today than you have since school started.” She bent down to try to catch Noah’s eye, but he stubbornly stared at his lap. She sighed internally before saying, “We’re concerned for you, Noah, and we’d like to help.”

He gave a scoffing laugh at that and turned his gaze to the side wall in the room, still not saying anything.

After a moment of consideration, Emma leaned back in her seat and said, “I’ve been trying for years to convince the boys in choir to come forward about Mr. Ryerson’s treatment of them.”

 _That_ got his attention. Noah’s head snapped to look at her, his eyes wide.

Emma nodded. “I was certain something was going on, but without a witness, either a victim or someone who had seen something concrete, there was nothing that could be done.” She closed her eyes and took in a shaky breath. “I never expected that Hank could be in further danger, with Ryerson in custody. Obviously I didn’t fully understand what was going on here.

“Noah,” she went on, opening her eyes and fixing him with a firm stare. “If you know anything that might be helpful, the police and the FBI _need_ to hear it. And if you are in danger yourself, or someone you care about is, they can offer protection.” She remembered what Agent Morgan had said about his own experiences and added, “We can and _will_ help you, without asking anything in return. Not only is it part of all of our jobs to take care of you kids, but we genuinely _want_ to.”

A single tear dropped from Noah’s left eye and slowly rolled down his cheek. Either he didn’t realize it was there, too absorbed in his thoughts to pay any attention, or he was pretending to himself that it wasn’t there.

After a long time, Noah simply nodded.

Emma just barely held in her sigh of relief. “Now, we want you to feel as safe and comfortable as possible, so you can decide who you want to talk to. At least two people need to be in the room with you, though, and one of them has to be either a police officer or an agent.”

It was quiet for a few more moments while Noah thought that over. Eventually, he said quietly, “I don’t remember their names.”

“That’s okay,” Emma said with a smile. “Describe them for me, and I’ll let them know.”

“Um, the black guy with the Feds? And the lady with the craz—I mean, the really colorful clothes?”

Emma held in a chuckle at that. “Agent Morgan and Miss Garcia are their names. You can use my office; I’ll bring them in for you.”

As she headed for the door, Noah said softly, “Thanks, Miss P.”

Looking over her shoulder with a sad smile, she answered softly, “I only wish I could have done more for all of you.”

 

“He wants _me_ in there?” Penelope squeaked. “But… _why_?”

Derek chuckled. “You’re non-threatening, Mama. It’s pretty easy to tell you aren’t an agent.”

Her mouth made an _o_ shape. “I’m not sure if I should take that as a compliment or not.”

“A compliment, definitely,” Emma said with a smile. “Kids tell you more if they think you’re harmless. And adults don’t expect you to get in their face when they screw up, so they bow to your wishes out of sheer shock.”

Penelope giggled, but quickly sobered. “He didn’t tell you anything?”

Shaking her head, Emma answered, “He only spoke to tell me who he wanted in the room with him. I’ve only had him in my office a few times, but I’ve never seen him so tense. Whatever it is, it’s obviously….”

Derek nodded. “It’s bad. But things are about to look up for him. And now he’ll know that he’s got adults he can go to for help.”

 

Puck nearly jumped out of his skin when the Feds came into the room; he’d been completely zoned-out, and the sound of the door opening was jarring. The crazy-looking lady smiled brightly at him as she moved to sit in Miss Pillsbury’s chair. The black guy leaned against the front of the desk, resting his hands behind him and giving Puck a serious look.

“I’m Agent Morgan, and this is Miss Garcia, our technical analyst.”

Puck gave her a questioning look, and she explained, “Resident computer geek.”

“Ah.”

Agent Morgan gave Puck a serious look. “It’s our understanding that you have some information for us.”

Puck fidgeted in his seat and nodded his head.

Miss Garcia came around the desk and crouched down in front of him. “Is it something that happened to you, or to someone you know?”

After a deep, fortifying breath, Puck managed to whisper, “Me.”

“Oh, honey….” For a moment, it looked like she wanted to hug Puck, but she held herself back. “Can you tell us what happened?”

And he did. He told them about mentioning to his neighbor that he wanted a summer job, but no place he wanted to work at was hiring. He told them how the man had offered to ask around and find Puck some part-time work during his vacation. A few days later, he’d told Puck that there was a woman a few streets over that wanted to hire someone to clean her pool. He wouldn’t even need any equipment, the neighbor had said, because the family had everything. If he turned up at their home at the requested time, the wife would show him how to do the job, and she’d pay in cash. And if Puck did well, the man said, he’d find other people who wanted the same service.

He told the Feds about arriving at the home and doing as he’d been instructed. And he told them that, when he went inside to get a drink and be paid, the woman came on to him. Before he could figure out what was happening, she had his pants off and was shoving him down onto the couch.

“I….” Puck hiccupped, and only then did he realize that he was now crying. Miss Garcia handed him a tissue and pet his hair. “I’d never been with anybody, I didn’t know what I was doing or why it was happening, and I….” He stopped, looking wildly at the two of them.

Miss Garcia gave Agent Morgan a significant look, but Puck couldn’t interpret it. Eventually, she turned back to him. “I’m so sorry, Noah,” she said softly, and Puck was amazed to see tears in her eyes, too. “Can you tell us the rest of the story?”

Nodding, he went on. “She gave me fifty dollars in cash and sent me home, afterwards. And when I got home, he was standing outside our apartment door. My neighbor,” he added, though he thought they probably knew that. “He told me… well, _strongly suggested_ that I give him forty percent of what I made, since he got me the job. And he told me he’d give me a more regular schedule for the rest of the summer.”

Agent Morgan leaned forward and caught Puck’s gaze. “It’s really brave of you to tell us all this, Noah. When I was a kid, something similar happened to me. And I never told anyone about it because I thought my abuser was the only one who could get me out of my poor neighborhood.”

Puck looked up in surprise. That was… dangerously close to what had been going on in his own head. “Yeah,” he said faintly. “I know what you mean.”

“But I was _wrong_ ,” he insisted. “That man was not the reason I made something of my life. I worked hard. I made meaningful connections with people. I had family and friends that loved and supported me. And because I worked hard to get where I am, because I care about the kids in the neighborhood I grew up in, he’s now behind bars, and he will stay there for the rest of his life.” Agent Morgan started tearing up, too, which made Puck feel a little better about his own display of emotion. “I promise you, everyone involved in this, everyone who hurt you and Hank and any other kids who have been affected, they are all going to get the punishments they deserve, and they will never harm anyone else. I _promise_ you.”

“We just need names, honey,” Miss Garcia said, her hand resting on Puck’s wrist.

 

 _Where the hell is Puck?_ Finn wondered as he changed back into his regular clothes after practice. He’d disappeared somewhere beforehand and never turned up.

“Hey, Coach? Do you know where Puck is?”

“Probably still in the Guidance Office with Miss Pillsbury. She came to get him for some paperwork thing or something, said he might miss all of practice.”

Finn thought that was strange, but he thanked the coach, grabbed his bag, and headed to find his friend.

To his amazement, he saw Puck coming out of Miss Pillsbury’s office, but it wasn’t the guidance counselor that had been in there with him; it was two of the FBI people.

“Um, Puck…?”

Puck’s face snapped up, his eyes filled with shock, which made sense to Finn, and _tears_ , which really didn’t. Unless….

“Oh, _fuck!_ ” Puck cursed under his breath.

The lady—Finn couldn’t remember her name, but he remembered that she seemed cool, and nice—laid her hand on Puck’s arm. She leaned in to whisper something to him that Finn couldn’t hear. After a moment, Puck nodded. He walked up to Finn, shoulders hunched and head down.

“I guess I… should probably tell you….”

“Um… was it Ryerson?”

Puck looked up at that, confused. Then his face cleared and he said, “Oh, no. But I think he was doing the same thing to those kids. It’s… well, Agent Morgan says the official term is ‘forced prostitution of a minor.’”

Finn felt the blood drain from his face. “Oh, my god! Puck, I… what can I do, dude?”

Amazingly, that seemed to be exactly the right thing to say. Puck managed a small smile. “Just, don’t tell anyone? And, you know, maybe forget that you saw me crying?”

Although he knew Puck wanted him to laugh at that, instead, Finn wrapped his best friend up in his arms. “Dude, there’s no shame in that. I’d be worried if you _hadn’t_ cried, with all this going on. I just… I’m here for you, right, man?”

“Yeah,” Puck sighed, hugging Finn back tightly. “Thanks.”

 

Finn went home with Puck that afternoon, and the boys had a police escort. It meant that Puck had to tell his mom what was going on, which was uncomfortable in the extreme, but the important thing was that she and Hannah would be safe. Both the house and the family would have protective detail until the police and the BAU were certain that all involved parties had been located and secured in police custody.

Mrs. Puckerman offered for Finn to stay overnight, which he declined, as he knew his mom would say no without an explanation that wasn’t Finn’s to give. “I’ll pick you up in the morning for school though, man,” he offered to Puck on his way out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Avril Lavigne's "Keep Holding On."


	4. Ch 3: No Easy Way Out

Derek stared down the man sitting across the table from him. “Jordan Clay,” the pimp who had strong-armed Noah into underage prostitution, sat with his hands cuffed and his arms resting on the metal table, his face inscrutable.

Leaning forward, Derek pitched his voice low. “We know you’re pimping, ‘Clay.’ We’ve got your computer. We’ve got your prints. No way you’ve never done time, so we’ll find out who you are soon enough. Might as well give yourself up now.”

Clay said nothing, just continued to stare Derek down.

“Look,” said Emily, who was leaning against the wall off to the side. “It’s obvious that this is a big operation. Tell us who your bosses are, and maybe we can arrange with the DA to have you put somewhere where none of the inmates will know you’re a child sex offender. Keep you from suffering more than the next average con once you go to prison.”

Clay kept quiet.

“That’s the best deal you’d be able to make, considering the charges.” Derek settled back in his seat again. “If you’re hoping for something better, I’d advise not holding your breath. But like Agent Prentiss said, you’d have to give a hell of a lot to even get that much.”

Clay’s lips didn’t even twitch.

“I think we’re wasting our time, Morgan. He probably doesn’t have the highest opinion of whatever protection we could offer him. He knows that he’s marked for dead if he talks:  just look at what they did to Hank, and he barely knew _anything_ about all of this.” Emily sat on the edge of the table and directed her next words to Clay. “Were you Hank’s pimp, too? Did you hear about him planning to testify and order the hit on him? Because if that’s true, there isn’t a DA in this country that would make a deal with you, anyway. He might not ever wake up.

“So which is it, Clay? Do we try to talk the DA into a deal, or not?”

Clay stayed mum.

 _Smack!_ Derek’s hand slammed down on the table. “Answer the lady, you bastard!”

Clay just closed his eyes and stayed silent.

 

“Lots of emails from the same address, but they look like they’re all in some kind of code. I figured that was more Reid’s territory.”

Aaron nodded and took the printouts Penelope was handing over. “Anything new on Ryerson’s computer?”

Sighing, she shook her head. “No, but Detective Williams found a record of a family member’s property. He took a few other officers with him, and Prentiss and Morgan. Hopefully there will be something there for me to work with.”

“Keep up the good work, Garcia.” Aaron looked over at Spencer to see that he was already doing a first read-through of the emails Penelope had provided. “Let me know as soon as you find anything in there, Reid.”

“I know the drill, boss,” he answered, obviously more focused on his assignment. Aaron filed his response away in his mind to use it to tease Spencer with once the case was over.

 

Prentiss, Morgan, and Williams cautiously approached the property that had been linked to Ryerson. The house appeared abandoned, but everyone present was well aware that looks could be deceiving.

Williams and one of his officers, a man by the name of Polski, approached the front door, while Prentiss, Morgan, and the other two police officers circled around either side of the building looking for another way in. Before long, all six of them were inside, and the first level was clear.

“Prentiss and I will start up the stairs. Cover us, just in case.” Derek moved up the stairs, all his senses alert for indications of movement.

He and Prentiss reached the landing at the top of the stairs without incident, and they moved off one direction down the hall. The two officers that had followed them up took the other direction. The rooms that Emily and Derek checked were quickly found to be clear of anything living, though there were tons of boxes full of who knew what. They were heading back to check in with the other officers when there was a crashing sound and a pained yell.

They hurried to the other end of the second level, only to find one of the officers pulling chunks of drywall off of the other one. “It’s clear. This place is falling apart, though. A piece of the ceiling came down on Officer Thomas’s head.”

Emily searched through the debris around the new hole in the ceiling. “It’s not just the house’s age that’s the problem,” she said, shaking her head. “Someone very recently removed a section of the ceiling to hide _this_ , and they didn’t do a very good job of putting it back together. You probably stepped on an uneven section of floor and moved everything just enough to knock this piece down.”

She was holding a large tin box, long and wide enough to fit legal-sized paper. She put on a pair of latex gloves and opened up the box.

“Oh, god,” she sighed, cringing.

The box was full of pictures of teenagers—all boys—in varying states of undress and arousal, and some who had clearly been sexually assaulted before the photo was taken.

Emily shoved the photos back into the box and handed it over to one of the officers. Derek reached up and rubbed her shoulder in consolation. “At least we’ve got what we need to put this one away,” he said. “And hopefully the locals have apprehended Clay and the women who assaulted Noah by now. It’s progress.”

With a soft sob, Emily tucked her face into Derek’s shoulder. “How many of those boys are dead by now? How many are never going to get the help they need to heal? How many have been physically, emotionally, and psychologically traumatized because this man thinks that his desires supersede the needs of other human beings?” She looked up at Derek. “Our work is important, and I feel fulfilled by my career. I just wish that we didn’t have to know the depths of humanity’s depravity as well as we do.”

“No argument here,” he said softly. “Let’s go report in. Hopefully we’ll get some good news back at the station.”

 

It was late when the team finally went back to the hotel, but they had “Clay” and the six women that Noah had named all in custody. When the two SUVs had emptied and the team started toward their rooms, Reid asked the group, “Switch up?”

Emily looked at JJ. “You feel like sharing tonight? I’m sure Rossi can get by for one night on his own.”

Before JJ could answer, Spencer said slyly, “I was going to invite him to join me and Aaron, actually.” Both propositions were happily accepted.

“So, Baby Girl, do we leave a room empty or go our separate ways?”

Penelope smiled and looped her arm through Derek’s. “I think Em and Dave’s room can handle being empty tonight.”

 

The next morning, when Puck and Finn walked into Spanish class, Puck suddenly froze, and Finn ran into the back of him. “Puck? Man, what’s wrong?” he asked, concerned.

Kurt Hummel looked up at that, and when he saw Puck, his face drained of color.

Puck slowly approached him, not hesitant exactly, but cautious.

“It was you.” It wasn’t a question, and Finn had no idea what he was talking about, but he kept quiet and listened.

“Are… you angry?”

Drawing a deep breath, Puck shrugged. “I don’t know. I feel like I _want_ to be mad at you, but….” He darted a look around the room, and Hummel nodded.

“Lunch time, outside the choir room? There usually aren’t many people there at that time of day.”

Puck nodded. “Yeah, okay.” And he took his seat behind Hummel’s desk. Baffled, Finn followed suit, determined to find out what was going on.

 

“So why aren’t you pissed as hell at me?” Kurt asked when Puck and Finn showed up. He wasn’t surprised that Finn was there, honestly. But he didn’t know how much he knew—probably more than Kurt, but there was no way to be sure of that. So he’d let Puck direct the conversation.

“Because I probably wouldn’t have said anything if you hadn’t told them, and that could have put my mom and sister in danger. We’ve got a protective detail until this all gets wrapped up.” Puck shook his head in disbelief. “How did you even know, dude?”

Kurt shrugged. “I still don’t know anything specific. I just know you’ve been acting weird since school started up again, and you were saving those cards and lying about it yesterday. I… thought I’d better say something, just in case.”

“Oh, god,” Finn mumbled, eyes wide as he turned to Puck. “Is this shit why you’ve been acting nutso since school started?”

Interestingly, Puck’s face went a little red at that. “Not… _just_ since school started, but… yeah. At least, I think so. I… was afraid someone would figure it all out.”

Getting a little tired of being the odd man out, Kurt demanded, “Figure all _what_ out? Just what happened to you, Puck?”

Finn got in his face, quick as lightning. “He doesn’t have to fucking tell you, Hummel! Mind your own business!”

“Whoa, dude!” Puck pulled Finn back, and Kurt could breathe again. “Finn, man, calm down! I… actually want to tell him. If he hadn’t said anything, I could have ended up like Hank. The Agents made that pretty clear to me yesterday after our interview, remember?”

Seeming to deflate at that, Finn nodded. “Yeah, okay. Sorry, Hummel.”

“The name is _Kurt_ ,” he insisted, voice slightly haughty. “If you say ‘Hummel,’ I’ll assume you’re referring to my father.”

Puck ignored the sidebar and said, “I think Hank Saunders was mixed up in the same thing I was. The agents called it ‘forced underage prostitution.’ My ‘ _clients_ ’ were all women, though. I don’t know what kind of ‘ _clients_ ’ Hank was forced to work for.” He shrugged, trying for nonchalant but completely missing the mark. “It’s a big shitfest, basically.”

Kurt could feel how round his eyes were, but there was nothing he could do to change it. He just stood there for a while, gaping. Eventually, his eyes filled with tears. “I’m… _so fucking sorry_ , Noah. That’s absolutely horrible.”

Puck gave him a confused look. “I’m surprised you care, honestly, considering how I’ve treated you this year.” His expression became sheepish, and he scratched the back of his head awkwardly. “Sorry for that.”

Privately, Kurt thought that it would take a hell of a lot more than an awkward apology to make up for the torment, but he put it aside for now. “Just because I don’t like how you’ve treated me doesn’t make it right that someone did those things to you. I…. Is there anything I can do?”

“Yeah, keep it to yourself,” Finn said seriously. He wasn’t meaning to intimidate this time; he was just protecting his friend. “The FBI people said that since he’s a minor, his name will be kept out of it when the papers report on it. People might find out anyway, but—”

Kurt nodded. “You’d rather they didn’t, I get it. Of course.”

There was an awkward pause. Eventually, Kurt worked up the nerve to say, “Can I… make a suggestion?”

Puck scrubbed his face with his hands. “Make it quick. This conversation is depressing.”

“That’s what I wanted to talk about, actually.”

Finn’s face scrunched up. “Do you think he should see a shrink?”

Kurt thought it sounded like a genuine question, so he didn’t let his temper get away from him. “Well, yes, but that’s up to him and his mother.” Kurt turned to face Puck again. “I was going to suggest that you get involved in something artistic. Music, drawing, something like that. It helps a lot of people to deal. I’ve heard,” he added quickly. “When there’s something they’re struggling with, art helps. And if you’re into singing at all, it sounds like Mr. Schuester is going to take over glee club. Now that Ryerson is gone, it’ll be safe for guys to be there now, which I know they need. I was planning on signing up.” He shrugged. “Just a suggestion.”

To the amazement of both Kurt and Finn, Puck seemed to be considering the idea. After a moment, he looked up and said, “I’ll think about it. Thanks, Hummel. Kurt,” he corrected himself, before Kurt could.

 

The FBI agents and some local officers visited all of the school’s seventh period classes that day, though it was just for a few minutes this time. They gave an update on Hank’s condition—he was still in a coma, but his prognosis looked good—and announced that they had several people in custody, but that didn’t include who had attacked Hank.

Puck’s class happened to be visited by the same agents that had interviewed him the day before, which he figured was intentional. They tactfully announced that another student had come forward, and it was because of them that they had been able to make some arrests.

“But we still need more students to come forward if they know anything that might be related. The people we have in custody are being charged for crimes relating to forced child prostitution. This is really serious business, kids, and although we’ve been able to make some arrests, we’re also certain that we haven’t discovered everyone involved yet. So please, if you know something or suspect that someone else does, _please_ come forward.”

 

In the parking lot after seventh period finished, Kurt surreptitiously passed Puck a flyer:   _Glee Club Tryouts! Monday after school in the auditorium. Prior sign-ups are encouraged but not required._

Finn watched Puck stare at the page for a long while. Eventually, Puck looked up and asked, “What do you think? Too geeky?”

Eyebrows scrunching in thought, Finn said, “Well, in general, glee club is for geeks. But you’re like, the coolest guy in school, Puck. Nothing you decide to do would be uncool. And who the fuck cares what all those”—he waved his hand at the students in the parking lot around them—“idiots think, anyway? I’ll even do it with you.”

“You’d commit social suicide with me?” Puck asked, amused.

“Dude!” Finn’s voice and eyes had gone all serious on Puck again. “You’ve been my best friend since fourth grade. You’re stuck with me.”

Puck swallowed back the emotion that he didn’t want to show there in the school parking lot. When he recovered, he rolled his eyes and elbowed Finn toward his car. “Whatever, nerd. You’re just glad to have an excuse to join the gleek squad.”

“Of course!” Finn flashed his patented insecure-but-endearing smile and hopped into the driver seat.

For the whole ride home, Puck ignored the flip-flopping in his belly that the smile had caused.

 

Saturday was an early morning for the BAU team, considering the new evidence and the arrests from the day before.

“As much as it disgusts me to give these to you,” one of the local officers was saying as he held out a large manila envelope, “at least it means we’ve got enough to put Ryerson away for a very long time. Possibly for life, if Hank recovers enough to give a statement or another kid comes forward.”

David took the envelope, already deeply saddened by what he knew would be inside. “Thank you, Officer Polski.” Noticing the paleness of the man’s face, Dave reached out to clasp his shoulder. “Cases like these are never easy, even for those of us who see this kind of thing fairly regularly. It’s perfectly normal to be affected by it.”

He shook his head slowly. “How do you all deal with it?”

“We put the sickos behind bars. We get closure and justice for the family. It doesn’t make up for what was done, because nothing can ever do that. But it’s the best that we _can_ do, and we do it.”

Polski shook his head. “It’s not enough.”

“No,” David sighed. “It really isn’t.”

JJ came rushing up as Officer Polski was walking off. “Rossi, I just heard from the hospital. Hank woke up.”

Dave’s shoulders dropped in relief. “That’s wonderful. Any news on his prognosis?”

“So far, so good. A couple of officers are headed over to see if he’s feeling up to making a statement, but I imagine he’s still disoriented. We might have to wait a day or two. I was just going to go find Garcia to let her know; can you inform Hotch and Reid?”

“On it,” Dave said with a smile. He walked off toward the room with all of their intel, smiling at the sight of Spencer bent over the stack of email print-outs and Aaron studying the (very limited) geographical profile map.

“Good news,” he said, moving to the table and leaning on it with one hip. “JJ says that Hank Saunders woke up not long ago.” Aaron and Spencer both looked at David at the news, Spencer’s eyes lighting up and a small smile tugging at Aaron’s lips.

“That’s great,” Aaron said, dipping his head slightly. “Someone going over to interview?”

“A couple uniforms are headed there now. JJ doesn’t expect that he’ll be up for that just yet, though, so we might have to try again later.”

Aaron nodded and turned back to the map. “As much as it pains me to say it, we don’t have near enough data points to make a useful geographical profile. And I’d prefer to solve this without having to add any.”

“Except in this case, all added points would be from things that already have happened,” Spencer said, his finger tracing and retracing a single line of text. “If another kid would come forward, that would help tremendously. Obviously there are more who have been victimized.”

“Did I hear someone wish for another kid to go informant?” Penelope asked as she walked in. “Because I’m pretty sure Detective Evanston is interviewing one down the hall as we speak.”

Aaron turned around, his brow furrowed. “Why didn’t someone inform us?”

“One of the officers that saw them go into an interrogation room said she knows the girl. Evanston probably thought that the girl was coming here for another reason, not to be interviewed.”

Nodding, Aaron allowed the tension to bleed from his shoulders. “Dave, will you go monitor the interview? Come get me as soon as it’s wrapped up.”

“On it, boss.”

 

“Thank you for telling us, officer. And you’ll continue to keep us updated?”

The woman promised that they would do so before heading back out to the surveillance vehicle down the street. Puck’s mother closed the door, leaned on it, and sighed deeply.

“Well, thank goodness for that. Bethany must be so happy to have her son awake. Oh, but poor Hank….” She looked at Noah, her eyes filled with sympathy and pain.

“You okay, Mom?” Puck asked, assuming that she was still worrying for Hank and Mrs. Saunders.

When she turned to face her son, her eyes were red and watery. “No, I’m not. Those women…. Noah… _why_ didn’t you tell me what was going on?”

Puck sat down on the couch with his mother and tried to explain to her what was going through his mind at the time. He did the best he could, but he didn’t think he could convey to her the fear and loneliness he’d experienced all summer. He couldn’t tell her about how he’d tried to take control back by sleeping with Quinn—he hadn’t even been able to tell Finn yet, because what if he lost his best friend over that? He couldn’t handle losing anything else, not now.

And he definitely couldn’t tell Finn (or his mother, or _anyone_ ) about… his problem. He couldn’t admit out loud that he was even more broken than they already thought he was.

 

Puck bolted upright in bed as he heard a crash of glass from the kitchen.

_Oh, fuck. No, nonononono!_

He knew immediately that he was in deep-shit trouble. The people who had had Hank Saunders roughed up must have found out that Puck had talked to the Feds. But Puck wasn't the only one in the apartment; his mother and sister didn't deserve to suffer because of what Puck had gotten mixed up in.

As quietly as possible, Puck slipped out of bed and went to his closet to grab his old baseball bat from the top shelf. His ears strained to hear footsteps, which he was able to pick up when the thugs hit the squeaky spot on the floor in the hallway. Careful to avoid the noisy places on his own bedroom floor, Puck crept to the side of his door and pulled the bat up. His breathing was fast and heavy, but nothing he tried calmed it down at all. He'd just have to strike before they had a chance to register the sound when they opened his door.

The knob rattled ever so slightly as someone grabbed hold of it. A moment of silence passed before the knob slowly turned, making almost no sound. Puck firmed his grip on the bat and steeled his resolve. _Mom and Hannah_ , Puck thought desperately. _I have to protect Mom and Hannah_.

Luckily for Puck, that turned out to be unnecessary.

Just as the door opened a tiny crack, a fierce voice called out "Freeze! This is the police! Drop your weapons!" The hall light came on as the cops announced themselves. There was a moment during which Puck assumed that the thugs refused to do as directed; the cop had to repeat the instruction to drop their weapons several times. But then there were three thuds, and then the sound of wrists being encased in handcuffs and Miranda rights being recited. The door to Puck's room opened, and although he knew that, logically, he was now safe, Puck's body hadn't quite moved out of fight-or-flight mode. Puck backed up and pulled the bat back threateningly.

"It's okay now, son," the man said, his hands held up. Puck took in the blue police uniform and the badge displayed on his breast pocket. Slowly, stiffly, he lowered the bat. The officer smiled gently. "That's it. You're safe now."

The words seemed to cut away the strings holding Puck upright; he sank to the floor, pulled his knees to his chest, and laid his head down to hide the tears he could feel running down his face.

He lost track of time after that. Minutes or hours later, he came back to consciousness with his mother and sister sitting there with him on the floor, their arms around him. Hannah was shivering, and his mother had dried tear tracks on her cheeks.

"Mom," Puck choked out, "Mom, I'm _so sorry_ —"

"No, sweetheart," Sarah said softly. "You have nothing to be sorry for. And we're safe, darling. The police are taking good care of us." She petted her son's hair for a while. Eventually, she moved both her children to her own room, and the three of them slept together for the first time since Puck had been nine years old and his three-year-old sister had insisted that she needed both her mom and her brother when she'd had a nightmare.

Puck lay awake for a long time, the jittery feeling still pulsing through him. His thoughts raced through everything that had happened to him since the beginning of summer. Eventually, his mind came to the conversation he'd had with Finn and Hummel— _Kurt_ —on Thursday afternoon. _Psychotherapy and music therapy_ , he thought as his body finally started to wind down. _Maybe they aren't such bad ideas after all_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Tom Petty's "I Won't Back Down."


	5. Ch 4: I Sat Quietly

As soon as the thugs were arrested at the Puckerman residence, Aaron and Emily took their mug shots over to the hospital. They were shown to Hank’s room, and were surprised to find both Hank and his mother awake.

“We’re sorry for the late visit,” Emily said, moving forward to greet Bethany, “but we have some pictures we’d like to show Hank.”

Aaron held out the photographs. “Do you recognize either of these men, Hank?”

Hank’s body went rigid and his face drained of color. He looked long enough to be certain, and then his eyes clenched shut and his head turned away. “Those are the men who… who took me and… and did this.”

Nodding, Aaron put the pictures back in their envelope. “Thank you, Hank. These men were arrested this evening for attempting a break-in at another student’s home. They are no longer a threat to you or your mother, I promise you.”

“But that’s not everyone,” Bethany said calmly. “There are others.”

“Yes,” Emily confirmed, “but we are still actively investigating. We won’t be leaving until everyone who is involved in this has been removed from the streets. We _will_ make your son safe, Mrs. Saunders. I promise.”

They left shortly after to allow mother and son to get some rest.

 

"Are you sure you wouldn't rather have me drive you?" Sarah asked her son the next morning before he and Finn walked out the door. "I'm your mother, I should be with you for this. Especially considering what happened last night…."

Puck sighed lightly. "Mom, I'm going to have officers tailing me, remember? And I'd rather you not be there." This was going to be difficult enough as it was without having to think about his mother sitting in the waiting room while he told the shrink about everything he'd been through. It sucked that anyone had to be there at all, but if he had to choose somebody, he'd rather it be Finn. He loved his mother, but she just wasn't someone he could really depend on. Puck has taken care of himself for as long as he can remember, and when Hannah came along, he took care of her, too. "Finn and I will be fine."

Sarah's shoulders dropped in defeat. "All right, honey. Be safe, you two."

"We will, Mom." Puck kissed her cheek in farewell, and the two boys went out to Finn's car.

Once they were out on the road, Finn said hesitantly, "Is there anything else I can do for you, dude?"

That warm feeling bloomed again in Puck's chest, but he tamped it down. He really wished his… _abnormality_ would just leave him the hell alone. He pushed those thoughts from his mind and said, " _I_ don't even know what to expect from this therapy shit, dude." He turned to face Finn for a moment. "But I'll let you know, 'kay?"

"Good," Finn said simply, his shy smile peeking out again.

Puck turned to look out the window until his face didn't feel so hot anymore.

 

“We’ll just get started with some preliminary discussions and questions, so I can get to know you. Then we’ll get into everything you’ve been going through since June. Sound good?” the tiny Asian woman asked with a smile. Dr. Byoun was a young psychiatrist working in Cairo, just north of Lima.

Puck shrugged his shoulders. “Yeah, I guess so.”

Dr. Byoun nodded. “Why don’t you tell me what you consider to be important for me to know about you?”

“Um… I live with my mom and my little sister, Hannah. She’s six years younger than me. Well, almost. She’ll turn ten in March, and I’ll be sixteen in April.” He paused a moment, not sure what else to say. “My best friend Finn, the guy that came with me today? He and I have been best friends since we met in fourth grade.” Puck couldn’t help the smile on his face as he talked about Finn, but he managed to tamp it down when the psychiatrist spoke up.

“Your father isn’t in the picture?”

“No,” Puck said flatly.

Dr. Byoun made a note on the clip-board she was holding and then looked up again. “What else is important to know about Noah Puckerman?”

After a moment of thought, Puck said, “I play football. Tailback. And I play the guitar. Not for a class or a band or anything; just because I like it.”

“That’s wonderful, Noah,” she said with a bright smile. “Other than school, football, and guitar, what do you like to do? How do you and Finn spend your time together?”

“Uh, mostly video games and movies and stuff. He’s on the football team, too—the quarterback. And, um….” Puck squirmed a bit in his seat. “I think we’re gonna try out for the glee club on Monday. A… classmate suggested it, and… I dunno, it sounds kinda lame, but I really like music, and….” He trailed off and shrugged uncomfortably.

Dr. Byoun leaned forward and whispered conspiratorially, “I’ll let you in on a secret. Teenagers think anything they wouldn’t be any good at is lame. So when your classmates think something is uncool, it’s just because they would suck at it.”

Puck laughed and relaxed. “Thanks, Dr. B.”

Next, she went through a round of questions about Puck’s religion and how he practices it (celebrates all the holidays but doesn’t keep kosher), his relationships with his mother and sister, and his likes/dislikes and successes/struggles in school.

“I actually really like math. Is that weird?”

“No,” she assured him with a chuckle. “A lot of people enjoy mathematics, though of course not everyone does. It was one of my favorite subjects when I was in school, too.” She considered him for a moment before adding, “The fact that you excel at music is likely why you do so well with numbers. Rhythm is its own kind of math.”

Puck nodded as he considered that. “I guess that makes sense.”

“So, we’ve covered almost everything. I just wanted to ask a couple of more general questions, and then we can get into the meat of the matter, so to speak. I noticed that you didn’t mention a romantic partner. Do you have one?”

“No,” he said, his throat starting to feel a little tight. “I’ve never been in a relationship.”

She made another note before asking, “And what’s your sexual orientation?”

_…._

Puck completely froze:  heart, mind, and body. When it all restarted a moment later, everything was in overdrive. He could hear the pounding of his heart in his ears, his thoughts raced without letting him get a hold on any one particular piece, and his hands started trembling.

Dr. Byoun recognized his discomfort and immediately reached out to hold his trembling hands. “Noah? I need you to slow your breathing, alright? Breathe deeply, with me. In…. Out…. Good.” She continued to guide him until Puck had regained control.

“What… the hell… was that?” he asked weakly.

“That was a panic attack. Have you ever experienced one before?”

Puck thought about that for a moment. “Um… maybe? Actually, yeah, definitely.”

“When was the last time? Do you remember?”

“I… used to get them a lot, right after my dad walked out on us.” He thought about his experiences in middle school and added, “And I had a few in seventh and eighth grade, too.”

Nodding and writing down a few notes, the doctor said, “It’s understandable that you experienced anxiety after your father left your family. How old were you?”

“I was eight, almost nine. Hannah had just turned three.” His shoulders dropped as he said, “We moved to Lima that summer. That’s why Finn and I didn’t meet until fourth grade.”

Her look was piercing as she asked, “Do you recall what precipitated the panic attacks in middle school?”

Puck’s forehead wrinkled as he thought back. He hadn’t thought about those days in a _long_ time. _What happened then that was so bad that…?_

In the next moment, memories started flooding Puck’s brain.

He and Finn had been at a friend’s house with the rest of their seventh grade football team. It was a sleepover, and the guy’s parents and half of the team had already gone to sleep. A few of them stayed up to play truth or dare, and Finn had been dared to kiss Mike Chang on the lips. It was barely a peck, but Puck couldn’t stop thinking about it, couldn’t help but get angry and confused and… excited. When everyone else had finally lain down, he’d curled around his pillow, his vision going dark and his breathing racing….

His thirteenth birthday party was held at a park, and most of his extended family had been there. A couple high school girls had been walking together, holding hands and occasionally kissing. His uncle had seen it and begun ranting about ‘fags’ and how unnatural and unacceptable such behavior was. Feeling hurt and confused and uncomfortable, Puck had raced off to hide behind a line of bushes. Once again, his body started to rebel. He’d only just regained control when Finn found him and asked why he’d started playing hide-and-seek without telling him. He’d laughed and run off to mess around with his best friend, putting the incident out of his mind….

And in eighth grade, after their last football game of the season (which they’d won spectacularly), he and some of the guys had been goofing off in the showers. Before he was completely clean, he’d… started getting hard. Embarrassed and nervous, he’d quickly rinsed and moved off to get dressed in one of the toilet stalls instead, hoping that no one had seen. His heart raced and his breathing got far too shallow; eventually, he’d had to sit on the floor in order to avoid passing out and hitting his head. Finn had called out for him intermittently, trying to figure out where Puck had gone, and he’d used that rhythm to calm himself. When Finn finally spotted him and complained, Puck told him he shouldn’t expect a man to make conversation while he was taking a dump….

“Noah? Noah, can you hear me?”

Dr. Byoun’s voice finally broke through his reverie. “Oh…. Yeah, I can hear you. Sorry, doc.”

Smiling softly, she shook her head. “There’s nothing to be sorry about, Noah. This is obviously something you’ve been struggling with. I assume it’s in reference to your sexuality?”

Choking out an unamused laugh, Puck said, “Yeah, you could say that.”

They talked for a while about sexual orientation. Dr. Byoun did her best to convince Noah that he had nothing to be ashamed of, and that he was in no way broken, but she knew that years of queerphobic atmosphere couldn’t be undone in a measly thirty minutes. Eventually, she set that subject aside for revisiting later on and, instead, asked Noah some leading questions about being forced into prostitution at the tender age of fifteen.

She hadn’t been a licensed psychiatrist for long—only four years—and she’d never had a patient of her own with such a major trauma to overcome. It took every ounce of her willpower to keep her face passive while Noah told her all about what he’d been forced to endure. It wasn’t long before he had tears running down his face. She noted that he started out trying to wipe them away but eventually gave up in favor of ignoring them.

“What sort of coping mechanisms did you try before you informed the FBI agents, Noah?”

“Coping mechanisms?” he asked, obviously confused.

She hummed in confirmation. “Did you try and distract yourself by filling up every minute of time with activities? Did you cause some kind of property damage—graffiti or breaking windows or throwing eggs? Did you try to express your emotions through music or art? Did you spend your time playing video games or reading or listening to other people talk about their own problems? Did you drink alcohol or try drugs? Cut yourself? Contemplate suicide?” She leaned forward to ensure she had Noah’s complete attention. “Everyone deals with trauma differently. Some are constructive, some are destructive. Some spend every moment doing something, while others sit still and wallow. I want to know what kinds of things you did to try and escape from what was happening to you.”

Noah thought for a few moments, gazing unseeingly out of the window. “At the beginning, I wallowed,” he eventually said, his voice very quiet. “I’d come home, turn on my music too loud, and… and cry into my pillow.”

“The music was so that your mother and sister wouldn’t hear.”

“Yeah, exactly.” He turned back to Dr. Byoun. “But then I started spending all of my time doing stuff. When Finn was available, I’d go over to his place to play video games, or we’d go to the park and toss the ball around. But when he wasn’t there… I started the property damage thing.”

Dr. Byoun nodded. She had expected as much, given what Noah’s school counselor had told her of his attitude at school this year. “What kind of property damage? How did it start?”

He shrugged. “I was throwing rocks at the windows of an abandoned warehouse one day. Well, it was more like evening, I guess, because the sky was just starting to go dark. And a couple of the guys that I knew from school saw me.”

Noah proceeded to tell her all about how he’d gotten mixed up with the “bad boys” of the school. They had done quite a bit of vandalism. There had even been an incident where they had taken the patio furniture at the home of one of the gay teens at their school and put it up on his roof—to the doctor’s surprise, Finn had been involved in that one.

Noah’s eyes were closed in shame at this point in his tale. “Once we’d done that to Kurt’s family, the guys decided that they wanted to keep messing with him. They… they got the idea to put piss into water balloons and throw them at him.”

The doctor wanted to close her eyes at that, so acute was the pain she felt for both boys in that situation, but she pulled herself together enough to ask, “And did you participate?”

With a small sob, Noah put his head in his hands. “Yeah, yeah I did. God, I’m so fucked up.”

“Noah,” she said softly, “the important thing here is that you feel remorse. In fact, I think you felt that way before you even agreed to go along with the idea.”

“Yeah, yeah, I did, I didn’t want to do it.” His eyes when he looked up at her were slightly wild. “God, I knew how horrible it was, and I did it anyway. Why the hell did I _do_ that?”

“Because you saw Kurt as a boy who enjoyed being the thing that you’d been taught to hate about yourself.”

Noah stared at her, his breath hitching as he tried to bring it back under control. She watched as she digested her words. Eventually, he said meekly and slowly, “You mean… I was mad at Kurt… because he could be happy about being gay,… and I couldn’t?”

“Well, yes and no.” She leaned back in her seat again. “I think you were mad at the world, because Kurt could seemingly be happy and open about who he was, while you were suffering so badly. Kurt himself was simply an easy target.”

After another moment of thought, Noah asked, “Are all homophobes secretly gay?”

“No,” she said seriously. “We could spend a few hours on the origins of homophobia, but we don’t have the time. For now, I’ll just say:  While it is true that some people who are especially homophobic experience same-sex attraction themselves, not all of them do. When someone who is LGBTQ is queerphobic, that is called ‘internalized homophobia’ or ‘internalized queerphobia.’ It means that they are outwardly expressing a feeling that they have for themselves.” She paused for a moment to allow Noah to consider her words.

Eventually, he caught on. “So what I did to Kurt… that was because of internalized homophobia?”

She nodded. “Yes, it was.”

“Is that why….” Noah choked on his words for a moment. “Is that why I slept with Finn’s girlfriend before school started, too? I wanted to prove to myself that I’m not gay?”

She held back her surprise at this new piece of information and considered his assessment. “Do _you_ think that’s why you did that?”

Noah sighed. “Yeah, I do.” He seemed to want to say something else, but he kept it in, and she allowed it for now. They could revisit this topic when they had more time.

“I think that’s something you should continue to think about between now and our next appointment,” she said as she moved her chair back to her desk. “I’d like to see you twice a week for now, and we can re-evaluate as time goes on.”

He nodded. “Sure thing. I have football practice on Tuesdays and Thursdays after school, though.”

“And maybe glee club rehearsals in the near future, too, right?”

“Oh,” he said, “I hadn’t thought of that. Yeah, maybe.”

They made tentative plans for Wednesday afternoon, which they would change as needed to accommodate Noah’s potential choir practice schedule. And they decided on Saturday mornings for the other weekly session, as that wouldn’t interfere with football games.

“Before you head out, Noah, I’m also going to write you up two prescriptions.”

Looking skeptical, Noah asked, “Is that really necessary?”

“In my opinion, yes it is.” She handed him two square pieces of blue paper. “The first is for an everyday anxiety med. It’s a fairly low dose, but it should help to lessen the worry and anxiety that you’ve been feeling, in relation to both the sexual assaults and your orientation. The second prescription is for an emergency anxiety medication; if things start to feel overwhelming, then I want you to take the emergency med. It’s fast-acting, which will help when you encounter a particularly stressful situation.”

Shoulders hunched, Noah nodded. “Alright, doc. If you say so.”

Her lips twitched. “I do say so.” They stood and shook hands. “I’ll see you next week, Noah. But please call me before then if anything occurs that you don’t feel equipped to handle. My cell phone is always on and with me.”

“Thanks, Dr. Byoun.” Noah gave a small, awkward wave and headed out of the office.

 

“So how’d it go?” Finn asked as they headed back to Lima, their police detail very obviously following close behind them. “You were in there a long time.”

Puck shrugged. “She said the first appointment is always longer because she needs the time to get to know her patients.” Huffing, he added, “But yeah, it felt like it took for-fucking-ever.”

“D’you like her?”

“Yeah, actually,” Puck answered, sounding surprised. “She’s easy to talk to. And she obviously knows her shit.”

It was quiet for a moment while Finn had an internal debate. Eventually, he said, “You totally don’t have to tell me anything that you don’t want to, dude, but if you wanna talk….”

Puck shrugged again, awkwardly this time. “I definitely need to talk to you about some stuff, but… I don’t think I’m really ready yet, man.”

“Sure, totally,” Finn said, not offended in the slightest. “Just tell me what you need, man, and it’s yours.”

Inexplicably, Puck’s cheeks went pink, but Finn forgot about it when Puck socked him lightly in the arm, smirked, and demanded, “Give me your Wii, then.”

Knowing what Puck expected of him, Finn shot him an offended look. “Over my dead body, you asshole!” They playfully fought the rest of the way home. Finn was so happy to see his best friend smiling and joking. He’d been so worried for longer than he cared to let on; Puck had become so clingy in the middle of summer and so distant by the end of it. Knowing what he knew now, Finn could understand why Puck had pulled away, but that didn’t mean he liked it any more now than he did then.

Finn vowed to himself that he would not leave Puck to suffer alone ever again.

 

“ __ _Edelweiss, Edelweiss,_  
Every morning you greet me.  
Small and white, clean and bright,  
You look happy to me, to me.  
Blossom of snow may you bloom and grow….”

“Kurt?”

Sniffling, Kurt looked up from the television in his room to see his dad standing on the stairs, looking concerned. “Oh, hey, Dad.”

Burt finished descending the stairs and plopped down on the sofa next to his son. “What’s the matter, kid?”

“Why do you think something’s wrong?” Kurt asked while wiping his nose on a tissue.

“Because you’re watching _The Sound of Music_. It’s your wallowing movie.”

Kurt gave his dad a surprised look. “I didn’t know you knew that.”

“Well, you’re a teenager, so it’s normal to think your parents don’t know anything about you.” Burt smirked a bit and pulled Kurt into his side. “So tell me what you’re wallowing about.”

Kurt mentally debated what to tell his dad, if he said anything at all. “I’m not sure I should say anything. Most of it isn’t my story to tell.”

Nodding, Burt said, “Makes sense. If it’s affecting you, though, you should really talk to someone about it. And you know you can trust me not to spread secrets, yours or anyone else’s.”

After a few moments of consideration, Kurt paused the movie and turned to face his dad. “You know how we’ve had some vandalism since about midsummer?”

“Yeah,” Burt said, voice flat. “You know who did it?”

“I’ve known since the patio furniture turned up on the roof.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Burt demanded, his brow furrowed.

Taking a deep breath and gathering his courage, Kurt straightened his shoulders. “Because I wasn’t ready to tell you why they were targeting me.” He sighed and said quietly, “Dad… I’m gay.”

To Kurt’s surprise, his dad smiled. “I know, Kurt.”

He blinked. “You… know?”

“I’ve known since you were three. All you wanted for your birthday was a pair of sensible heels.” Burt chuckled softly, but then immediately got serious again. “You mean the furniture thing was because you’re gay? That’s why you were getting picked on?”

“Well, yes, but that’s not the only thing that’s happened to me since the summer. Anyway, we’re getting off topic.” Kurt shook his head to clear away the currently irrelevant thoughts. “The point is, one of the kids who was involved… well, something really bad happened to him.”

“Wait, was it that Saunders kid?”

“Oh! No, not him.” Haltingly, and emphasizing that he didn’t have very many details, Kurt relayed what he knew of what had been going on with Puck. Burt was quiet and attentive, only interrupting a couple of time to ask for clarification. Eventually, tale all told, Kurt sighed. “I guess I just… need some advice. All of the stuff that Puck has done to me has been awful, but I think he might actually feel really bad about it. And I suggested that he try out for glee club, which I’m planning on doing, too. So my question, I guess, is:  How do I handle it all?”

Burt sat quietly for a while, thinking it all over. When he finally spoke, Kurt was a little disappointed in the answer. “I don’t think there’s a ‘right way’ to deal with him, Kurt. But I _do_ think that it’s important for you to let him know that you expect him to make amends. Is he getting any help?”

Kurt shrugged. “Finn Hudson asked me if I thought he should go to therapy, but I don’t know if anything actually came of the idea. I hope so.” He sighed, shoulders drooping. “So I pretty much just play this by ear? I _hate_ not having a plan.”

Chuckling lightly, Burt ruffled his son’s hair. “If it helps at all, kid, I have faith in you. But I’ll tell you one thing.” Burt’s face went slightly menacing, and his voice dropped in pitch. “If he doesn’t do his damnedest to make things right with you, he and I are gonna have _words_.”

 

“ _I ain’t gonna do you wrong_  
While you’re gone  
I ain’t gonna do you wrong,  
‘Cause I don’t wanna….”

“Dude, what the hell are we doing here?” Puck whined to Finn under his breath. They were back stage at the school, waiting their turns to try out for the glee club.

Finn raised his eyebrow at his best friend. “This was your idea!”

“Yeah, and it’s a fucking stupid one!”

“SHH!” Rachel Berry shot the both of them an irritated look. “Don’t be disrespectful of the person on stage!”

Puck rolled his eyes, and Finn gave Rachel an apologetic smile-and-shrug. When Rachel’s expression went slightly blank, Puck noticed Kurt rolling his eyes exaggeratedly at her, though it didn’t look like anyone else had seen. When Kurt caught Puck looking, he tipped his head at Rachel and then shook his head in obvious exasperation.

Puck only just managed to turn his laugh into a polite cough.

Mercedes Jones had just finished her song and was climbing down the stairs at the side of the stage in the auditorium when they heard Mr. Schuester call out, “Kurt Hummel!”

Kurt closed his eyes and took a calming breath. When he opened them, Finn nodded at him with a small smile and said, “Good luck, dude.”

Blushing, Kurt stammered out, “In show biz, we say ‘break a leg.’” Without waiting for an answer, he headed out to the stage. Wanting to get a good view, Puck grabbed Finn by the sleeve and pulled him closer to the edge of the stage.

“I’m Kurt Hummel, sophomore, and I’ll be singing the title song from Roger’s and Hammerstein’s _The Sound of Music_.” Kurt cast a quick look at Puck before immediately looking back out into the auditorium.

“ _The hills are alive_  
With the sound of music,  
With songs they have sung  
For a thousand years.

“ _The hills fill my heart_  
With the sound of music.  
My heart wants to sing  
Every song it hears.

“ _My heart wants to beat_  
Like the wings of the birds that rise  
From the lake to the trees

“ _My heart wants to sigh_  
Like a chime that flies  
From a church on a breeze

“ _To laugh like a brook_  
When it trips and falls  
Over stones on its way

“ _To sing through the night  
Like a lark who is learning to pray._

“ _I go to the hills_  
When my heart is lonely  
I know I will hear  
What I’ve heard before

“ _My heart will be blessed_  
With the sound of music,  
And I’ll sing  
Once more.”

Puck, embarrassingly, felt himself getting emotional over the song. It was obvious to him that Hummel— _Kurt_ , he reminded himself—had chosen the song because of what Puck had told him.

_Why does he care so much? I’ve been a complete asshole to him, but instead of punching me or telling me I deserved what happened to me, he’s done nothing but try to help me._

Puck really didn’t understand it, but he appreciated it. And he’d do whatever he could to make up for the shitty things he’d done to Kurt in the last four months. Maybe Dr. Byoun would have some ideas of how to apologize properly.

“Excuse me,” a small voice came from behind Puck. The wheelchair kid— _Artie Abrams, that’s him_ —was trying to get by to do his audition. Puck silently moved aside, and Finn did the same.

Once Artie had started his song (Usher’s _Yeah!_ ), Finn turned to Puck, his expression concerned. “You okay, man?” he murmured under his breath, side-eying Rachel to make sure she didn’t scold them again.

Nodding, Puck assured him, “I’m good. Confused, but it’s fine.”

Finn hummed in agreement. “What’s up with Hu—um, I mean, Kurt?”

“I dunno either.” Puck shook his head in amazement. “Why isn’t he plotting my demise? Why’s he being all supportive and shit instead?”

“Maybe because he knows now that you’ve been going through stuff? I mean, he’s probably still pissed as hell about all the shit you and me and other guys have done to him. But maybe he’s not _as_ pissed now that he knows there’s a good reason you’ve been acting weird?”

“Gee,” Puck said flatly. “Thanks.”

Finn winced. “I didn’t mean it like that. Just that you’ve….”

“Been a huge asshole. It’s okay man. It’s true.”

Finn’s expression twisted in guilt and worry, but before he could say anything else, Puck put his hand on his bicep. “Finn, stop. I know I was a jerk. Knowing that it’s not unusual to react that way doesn’t change that fact. But now that… you know, from Saturday?” He didn’t want to mention therapy so openly where Rachel might hear. Finn nodded his understanding, and Puck continued, “I think I’ll be able to deal with it better. And I’m gonna make it up to you and Kurt and Hannah and everyone else I was a jerk to since June.”

Finn smiled a bit as Tina moved out on stage. Both boys stayed quiet and attentive through her and Rachel’s auditions, and then it was Puck’s turn.

“Hey, Mr. Schue. I’m gonna sing ‘People are Strange’ by the Doors.” Puck sat on a stool and pulled his guitar into place.

Mr. Schuester smiled in encouragement. “That’s great, Puck. Let’s hear it.”

Puck picked out the opening notes and started to sing:

“ _People are strange when you’re a stranger._  
Faces look ugly when you’re alone.  
Women seem wicked when you’re unwanted.  
Streets are uneven when you’re down.

“ _When you’re strange_  
Faces come out of the rain,  
When you’re strange.  
No one remembers your name  
When you’re strange,  
When you’re strange,  
When you’re strange.”

Mr. Schue and the students that had already auditioned clapped when Puck finished. He smiled awkwardly and made his way into the seats, picking one in front and to the right of Kurt.

Finn walked out onto the stage when Schue called his name, his shoulders hunched up almost to his ears and his hands in his pockets. He smiled and said, “Um, I’m Finn. Which you obviously knew. And I’m gonna sing Bruno Mars’s ‘Count on Me.’”

“Great!” said Schue enthusiastically. “Go for it.”

Finn cleared his throat and signaled to the piano player that he was ready.

“ _If you ever find yourself stuck in the middle of the sea,_  
I’ll sail the world to find you.  
If you ever find yourself lost in the dark and you can’t see,  
I’ll be the light to guide you.

“ _Find out what we’re made of  
When we are called to help our friends in need._

“ _You can count on me, like ‘one, two, three,’_  
I’ll be there.  
And I know when I need it  
I can count on you, like ‘four, three, two,’  
You’ll be there.  
‘Cause that’s what friends are s’pose to do, oh yeah.

“ _If you’re tossin’ and you’re turnin’ and you just can’t fall asleep,_  
I’ll sing a song beside you.  
And if you ever forget how much you really mean to me,  
Every day I will remind you….

“ _You’ll always have my shoulder when you cry._  
I’ll never let go, never say goodbye.  
You know

“ _You can count on me, like ‘one, two, three,’_  
I’ll be there.  
And I know when I need it  
I can count on you, like ‘four, three, two,’  
You’ll be there.  
‘Cause that’s what friends are s’pose to do, oh yeah.

“ _Y’can count on me, ‘cause  
I can count on you._ ”

The group applauded, and Puck was glad he was sitting in front of everyone else so that they couldn’t see that he was tearing up again. This was getting ridiculous; maybe Dr. Byoun would have some suggestions for the excessive crying thing, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Katy Perry's "Roar."
> 
> I've been pulling my hair out over the formatting for song lyrics. Does anyone know how to get the lines of a stanza to not have an extra space after every new line and stay italicized?


	6. Ch 5: Too Young for This

The next day during lunch, Quinn walked up to Finn, grabbed his arm, and pulled him into the hallway.

“Quinn? What’s going on?”

When they’d stopped out of sight of anyone in the cafeteria, Quinn turned to face him. Her eyes were glistening with tears and her nose was red, as if she’d been crying. “I have to tell you something.”

Finn gently took her hand and said, “I’m listening.”

Voice so quiet Finn almost couldn’t hear, she said, “I’m pregnant.”

Finn froze.

After a long moment, he said, “But… we haven’t….”

“Last month? In the hot tub?” She sniffled. “Apparently the water in a hot tub is like, the perfect place for sperm to live.” She closed her eyes and dropped her head, pulling her hands away from Finn’s to cover her face. “What am I gonna do? I _really_ thought I was going to be able to get out of this town, but now that’s all shot to hell!”

An uncomfortable feeling squirmed in Finn’s gut. Granted, he wasn’t all that informed on this kind of stuff, but what Quinn had said about hot tubs just didn’t sit right with him. But if they’d never had sex, then there couldn’t be any other explanation, right? Regardless of how it had happened, the point was that it _had_ , and now Finn didn’t know what he was gonna do.

“There’s always… you know, ab—”

“ _Don’t. Say. It,_ ” she hissed at him. “I’m not going to be a murderer.”

“It’s not murder, Quinn—”

“It’s _not an option_ , Finn.”

Finn sighed and nodded. “Okay. Then what do you want to do?”

Shaking her head, Quinn whispered, “I have no idea.”

 

When the bell at the end of seventh period rang, Puck and Finn went straight to the choir room door to see the posted list for glee.

“I don’t even know why we’re bothering to check,” they heard Kurt saying just before they rounded the corner. He was standing with Mercedes. “It’s not like there were enough of us there that anybody could be rejected.”

“But it’ll be nice to see our names on the list!” insisted Mercedes.

Kurt looked up at Puck and Finn, smiling. “Congratulations are in order for all of us,” he said with an ironic smirk.

“Sweet,” Puck said, smiling back. “Does it say when rehearsals are?”

The paper that held the list also had an informational section, which indicated that there would be after school rehearsals on Mondays and Fridays. It also said that Schue was arranging for the new members’ class schedules to be rearranged so that they could be put in the choir class.

“Cool,” Finn said enthusiastically, “it’ll be like a free period!”

“That time is meant for rehearsing,” Rachel’s voice said. Finn jumped in surprise, having not heard her coming up behind him. “It’s not _free time_. It’s an actual class, which means we’ll have actual work to do.” She frowned at them all in disapproval.

Mercedes rolled her eyes. “But it’ll be _fun_ , unlike math and history, so it’ll _feel_ like free time. Lighten up, girl.”

 

“You did _WHAT?!_ ” Quinn shrieked. “Finn! We have enough problems right now without you becoming the laughing stock of the school by joining the gleek squad!”

“Will you keep your voice down?” Finn hissed, looking around the parking lot to make sure no one was within earshot. “Look, firstly? I didn’t know about the baby when I auditioned, and second of all, Puck thought maybe he would like do it, but he didn’t want to sign up by himself, so I said I’d do it, too.”

Her face went blank with surprise. “Puck. _Puck_. We are talking about the same person here, right?”

Finn rolled his eyes. “Yes, my best friend. He plays guitar and he loves music, so he thought maybe he’d give show choir a try. I think it’ll be fun!” Shrugging shyly, he suggested, “You should join up, too. You’ve got a great singing voice. And I was thinking that… if you’re going to have the baby, you won’t be able to stay on the Cheerios. It’s too dangerous when you’re pregnant. So I thought you might like to join another team.”

Quinn huffed a laugh. “Right, because that’ll make being pregnant in high school _so much_ _easier_.”

“Hey, it was just an idea. You don’t have to do it. I just thought you might like to.”

“You can forget about it, Finn. And I’m _not_ quitting the Cheerios.” She walked off to her car before Finn could say anything else.

 

“I’ve got it!” Spencer practically shouted, shooting up from his chair. He pulled David and JJ over to look at the emails he’d spent days analyzing. He started going into the specifics of how he cracked the code, but Dave interrupted him.

“Reader’s Digest version, Reid. We’ve got criminals to catch.”

“Right, sorry,” he huffed, trying to catch his breath. “I’ve been able to determine that there are two people heading the operation, and we already have the dominant partner in custody—that’s ‘Clay.’ The emails with blue-highlighted headers are from him. And they’re written to his former cell mate. According to his records, he’s had a lot of those, but if we can determine who of them are submissive personalities, we can narrow the list down.”

“That’s not enough; we need more parameters.”

Emily had walked in partway through the discussion. “I think I can help with that,” she offered. “The girl who came forward on Saturday, the one who only ever saw one of the thugs? Well, it turns out that she did see the pimp once. I just did a cognitive interview with her, and she remembered his face. If we can get some mug shots to her of the men ‘Clay’ shared a cell with, she’ll be able to point us to our last major perp.”

“I’ll get Garcia on it right now,” Spencer said, stacking his papers hastily before making his way to Penelope’s in-house set-up.

 

“I’m gonna tell Finn that I slept with his girlfriend,” Puck announced to Dr. Byoun the next day at his appointment. He sighed. “I don’t want to do it—I mean, what if I lose him over this? But it’ll be worse if I _don’t_ tell him, ‘cause he’s bound to find out anyway.”

Dr. Byoun nodded at him. “I think that’s an excellent idea for your homework, Noah. And since it will be a rather anxious time for you, I suggest taking one of your emergency pills before you start that conversation. Give it about an hour between taking the pill and talking to Finn.”

Puck nodded. “Yeah, that’s probably a good idea. Thanks, doc.”

“You’re very welcome, Noah,” she said with a smile. “Enjoy the rest of your week, and I’ll see you on Saturday.”

Puck met up with Finn in the lobby and jerked his head toward the door, so Finn got up and followed him out to the parking lot.

“Everything go okay?” Finn asked when they were on the road. He saw Puck opening the bottle of emergency medication and was concerned.

Puck nodded. “Yeah. Just taking this in prep for my homework assignment.”

Confused, but knowing that Puck would fill him in when he was ready, he just nodded. “Am I taking you back to your place, then?”

“Oh! Yeah, thanks, man,” he said, realizing that saying he was going to Finn’s would make Finn suspicious. Puck needed to keep the topic lighter until his meds had kicked in and Finn was no longer driving.

When they’d pulled into the apartment complex, Puck said, “Actually, dude, my homework involves you. Can you come in for a minute?”

Finn’s face scrunched up in concern, but he nodded, and the boys made their way inside.

Puck grabbed them both a soda, and they parked themselves on the couch. Finn studied the side of Puck’s face, while Puck stared fixedly at his lap, playing with the tab on the pop can. Eventually, Puck opened it up, took a long gulp, and then looked at his best friend.

“I have to tell you something, and you’re gonna be really pissed at me. And I’m gonna deserve it.”

Finn’s forehead furrowed. “Dude, you’re my best friend. It’s not like we haven’t fought before.”

Laughing humorlessly, Puck shook his head. “Not like this,” he said, his voice breaking on the last word. He cleared his throat, took a deep breath, and looked at Finn with pain in his eyes. “You know that party at Matt’s house the Saturday before school started?”

“Yeah, I remember. You drank like, three beers that night. I’d never seen you drink more than half a can before that.” Finn’s expression was still concerned. “You disappeared for a while that night. Did something happen?”

Puck nodded. “Yeah, it did. I….” A small sob broke loose, but Puck reigned it in. “I took Quinn upstairs. We… had sex. Finn, I’m _so sorry_ , it was so stupid, and I get it if you hate me for it, but _please_ , man, you’re my best friend and I don’t want to lose you.” He took a big, shuddering breath and turned away again, his head bowed in regret.

For a few minutes, they both were quiet. The only movement was the occasional drink from their pop cans.

Eventually, Finn turned back to Puck. “Can I ask you a question?” he asked, his voice quiet.

“Anything, man.” Puck looked up, and Finn noted the tears in his eyes.

“Why Quinn? I mean, I get why you wanted to have sex with someone your own age, someone _you_ decided to sleep with. But… why did you choose Quinn?” Finn couldn’t quite keep the hurt out of his voice, but he didn’t sound angry, which Puck was grateful for. He’d take advantage of that while it lasted.

Puck was quiet for a while as he thought about how to answer. He thought he had an inkling about why he had chosen Finn’s girlfriend, but he wasn’t at _all_ ready to share that. He hadn’t even mentioned it to his _psychiatrist_ yet; no way was he ready to tell Finn. Finally he decided on a partial truth.

“I haven’t totally figured that out yet, but I know that part of it was because she’s the president of the Celibacy Club. You know, if I could get her to willingly sleep with me, then I’m actually desirable, and those women hadn’t only slept with me because they could pay for me to do it.” Puck shrugged. “And part of it is because she was drinking, and I asked, and she agreed to go upstairs with me.” Puck didn’t say that she was eyeing him up, or that she had flirted with him first—there was no need to cause him even further pain. If Quinn wanted to come clean about that, it was her business.

Finn nodded. They were quiet again for a long time before Finn said, “I’m… hurt, and confused. But I’m not angry at you.”

“Really?” Puck asked, hardly daring to believe it. “You’re not?”

“Dude,” Finn said as he gave Puck an earnest look, “you did something stupid, yeah. But you didn’t do it to hurt me. It could just as easily been any of the other girls at the party. It was a really dumb thing to do, and… well, I can see that you’re sorry, and I’m sure Quinn will regret it, too, if she doesn’t already. But I’m not pissed at you, and you’re not gonna lose me.”

Puck looked into Finn’s eyes, saw the sincerity, and reached over to hug him. “Thanks, man.”

Finn dropped his head so that his chin rested on Puck’s shoulder. “I’m here for you, Puck. You should get that by now.”

 

Thursday morning saw Penelope finally handing over a complete photo file of Levenhagen’s (also known as “Clay”) previous cell mates. Because of a lack of integrated systems, it had taken her quite some time to be sure that she had the complete list of names, and then even longer to be sure that she had the correct photographs for each inmate. She sighed as she handed Emily and JJ the folder. “Go find out which of these is our _n_ _úmero dos_ sicko.”

Emily took the file, and she and JJ went to go interview the girl again.

When they got to the school, they asked Ms. Pillsbury to call the student out of class. In almost no time at all, she had pointed out the man they were looking for. JJ immediately called the information in to Penelope so she could track the man down, while Emily was thanking the girl for her courage and handing over her contact information, should the girl ever feel like she needed it.

 

Around lunchtime, Spencer, Derek, Emily, and Dave accompanied the local authorities to go apprehend Miles Harris.

It didn’t go as smoothly as the previous raid.

Harris was submissive, but he wasn’t cowardly. He was very comfortable around guns, and he owned several—illegally, considering his status as an ex-convict of a violence-based felony.

Emily and three officers went up to the front door to serve the warrant for Harris’s arrest, but they never even made it to the front porch.

The first round of gunfire hit Emily directly in the vest—a shot that would have irreparably damaged her heart if she hadn’t been wearing one. The officers with her covered her retreat, and Spencer, Derek, David, and the other local officers joined in the fray. Spencer determined that the window Harris was firing from was in a corner room, and the best chance they had of disabling him was to go at him from the side window. Accordingly, he and Derek led a small group of officers around the back of the house on the opposite side to get in position.

Shortly after their group moved off, one of the local officers took a hit to the upper arm; he would live, but he was losing blood rapidly, and he nearly took further damage before his coworkers managed to pull him completely out of the line of fire.

Spencer finally managed to get into position. Harris was nearly done reloading. At the same moment, Spencer realized that Dave was moving slowly out from behind his place of cover, trying to get in a shot of his own, but he wouldn’t have enough time before Harris recovered.

A shot rang out, followed immediately by nearly-simultaneous sounds of breaking glass, human agony, and another gunshot.

David would have been hit in a much worse location than the graze he took to his outer left thigh if Spencer hadn’t managed to shoot Harris in the arm just before Harris pulled the trigger for one last round. Derek immediately informed Spencer over their radios that he was in the room with Harris and was moving in to cuff him.

Not caring to pay attention to the arrest, Spencer quickly made his way over to David. When the ambulance arrived, he insisted on accompanying David, who protested the necessity of a ride to the hospital for his relatively minor wound. His protests were ignored completely in favor of a gentle hand running through his hair and a steady eye on his heart rate.

When they reached the hospital, Aaron was there to greet them. “Stop trying to give us all heart attacks, both of you,” he scolded. Relief was obvious in his eyes when he took in Spencer’s lack of injury. He was even more relieved to hear the paramedics say that they’d only brought Dave in the ambulance as a precaution; they fully expected that he’d be recovered enough to avoid staying overnight at the hospital.

Satisfied that his partners were no longer in any danger, Aaron filled the two of them in on the status of the arrest. “Apparently,” he drawled, “Harris started singing like a bird as soon as they got him in the cruiser. He’s promised to name all of the muscle of the operation if they reduce his sentence to the minimum allowable. I don’t think he realizes that the minimum allowable sentence for all his counts of forced child prostitution, illegal gun ownership, and aggravated assault of law enforcement officers is going to be a hefty sum of years in prison without parole. He’ll be in there until he dies, minimum sentence or not.”

“Good,” Spencer said firmly. “The fucker deserves it.”

Both Aaron and David shot him incredulous looks. Spencer wasn’t one to swear so fiercely outside of the bedroom. When he noticed their looks, he shook his head in exasperation. “There are occasions that call for such language. My lover being shot and ending up in the hospital is _definitely_ one of them.”

Aaron gave first Spencer and then David gentle kisses on their temples. “I love you two. I’m glad you’re both—relatively—alright,” he added, raising an eyebrow as he looked at the bullet wound on Dave’s leg.

“Stop fussing,” David huffed. “A few stitches, a bandage, and I’ll be good as new.” He smirked. “I’ll bet you a blow job that it won’t even affect our sex life.”

Aaron and Spencer broke into chuckles at that, and it was a long time before the relieved laughter fully subsided.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Kenny Chesney's "There Goes My Life."


	7. Ch 6: So Confused About It

After school that day, the glee members received their new class schedules. Puck and Finn were comparing theirs with Kurt when two of the FBI agents—Morgan and that tall, geeky one whose name Puck couldn’t remember—showed up in the choir room.

“Hey, Noah,” Derek said, eying the other boy in the room and hoping he wasn’t unintentionally spreading information Noah wouldn’t want shared, “have you got a minute?”

Kurt looked from Puck to Finn to the agents and said, “I could go, if you want…?”

Puck considered Kurt for a minute before shaking his head. “Nah, you can stay, it’s alright.” He nodded to the agents, who pulled chairs around to face the boys. “What’s going on?”

“Well, thanks to Dr. Reid, here, we have some good news to share.”

Spencer smiled. “I was able to analyze a couple hundred coded emails between your neighbor and his ‘employer,’ who actually turned out to be his business partner and former cell mate. As of a couple of hours ago, we’ve successfully apprehended everyone involved in your case.”

“Thank _fuck_ ,” Finn swore under his breath. “So, it’s over?”

“Well, not quite,” Derek said apologetically. “It turned out that not a lot of adults were involved, though we’ve found a list of at least forty kids who have been exploited over the last seven years. Although every criminal involved has been arrested, there are still the court cases.” Derek gave Puck a sympathetic look and added, “And of course, for all of you kids, it won’t ever be completely ‘over.’”

Puck nodded. “I can’t imagine ever forgetting.”

“You won’t,” Derek acknowledged. “But one day in the not-too-distant future, you’ll realize that, the day before, you never once thought about it. Give it some more time, and you’ll go days, and then weeks, without dwelling on it. It’ll always be there, but if you keep moving forward, its impact on your everyday life will get smaller and smaller.”

Kurt put a comforting hand on Puck’s arm and said, “You mentioned the court cases. Will Noah have to testify?”

“That’s actually our motivation for coming to talk to you,” Spencer said, leaning forward in his seat. “You’ve got a couple of options, Noah:  you can testify in court during ‘Mr. Clay’s trial—his real name is Maxwell Levenhagen, by the way—and the trials of the women who exploited you, or you can do a single recorded deposition covering everything the DA would want you to testify to. With the second option, you won’t have to be in the courtroom with any of them.”

Puck looked down at his lap while he thought it over. “Is one more likely to get them convicted?” he asked.

“No,” Derek said with assurance. “There is plenty of evidence, and we’re hoping to have several other accounts from victims. They will be going to prison no matter which route you choose to take.”

Spencer added, “Considering the number of victims and the severity of the crimes, I’d say a maximum sentence would be likely one way or the other; even if they get the minimum sentence, though, they are looking at upwards of forty years in prison. The question you have to ask yourself is whether it will be better for you if you avoid seeing them again or if you confront your abusers. And you have plenty of time to make that decision because the court system moves pretty slowly. We just wanted to let you know what your options are.”

Puck nodded and thanked the agents, shaking their hands. When Agent Morgan reached for Finn’s hand, he asked the man, “Could I speak to you in private? I… need some advice.”

Derek was surprised, but he readily agreed. Puck shot them a questioning look as they walked out of the room, but he didn’t follow. Instead, he stayed with Dr. Reid and Kurt. They chatted idly for a minute before Kurt had to leave.

“I work at my dad’s shop on Thursdays after school. He’s probably wondering where I am.” He waved. “Bye, Dr. Reid. See you later, Puck. I’m glad to know your family’s gonna be safe now.” Kurt smiled and then flounced out the door.

When Puck turned back to Dr. Reid, he was surprised to see the appraising look on the man’s face.

“You should tell them.”

Confused, Puck asked, “Tell who what?”

Spencer chuckled. “You should tell your friends how you feel about them. I know it’s frightening, but it really is better to have an answer. I finally got up the courage to say something, and now I have two of the men I love in my life and my bed, and one still in my life, even if he doesn’t feel the same about me. I’ve never been happier.”

“Wait, you’re gay?”

Shrugging, Spencer said, “Yes. And you are, as well, to some degree.” It wasn’t a question; he had observed it, and so had Derek and Penelope.

Puck shrugged uncomfortably. “It’s… new. Kinda.”

“Ah, I see,” Spencer said quietly. “I can answer questions, if you have any.”

“You really have two… boyfriends?”

Spencer laughed. “They would hate to be called that, but essentially. We use the term ‘partner’ instead, because they consider themselves too old to be called ‘boyfriends.’”

Puck wrinkled his nose. “How old are they?”

“Late-thirties and mid-fifties.”

Eyes wide, Puck said, “You’re with an old guy?!”

“Hey,” Spencer said, playfully complaining, “that just means he’s more experienced.” His smile bloomed again. “He’s a wonderful man. They both are. All three, really.”

Puck shook his head. “So you have two partners that you love? So like, you’re cheating on them both?”

Spencer’s face went blank. “No,” he said sharply. Puck shrank back in surprise, and Spencer sighed and rubbed a hand over his eyes. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap. We hear that a lot because most people just don’t understand—sometimes willfully.

“We’re in a polyamorous relationship. Polyamory is any romantic relationship involving more than two people in which every individual is completely informed and completely consents. Aaron is what some people would call my ‘primary partner,’ which basically means that he’s the one I live with and with whom most of my time is spent. David is what is sometimes called a ‘secondary partner;’ we don’t live together, but he and I—and he and Aaron, and the three of us together—have romantic and sexual relationships, too. And both Aaron and David have other relationships besides ours.”

Puck’s head was spinning a bit from all the new information. A thought occurred to him. “And you’d have another relationship, too, if that other guy returned your feelings, right?”

“Yes,” Spencer said, smiling. “Unfortunately for me, Derek doesn’t feel sexual or romantic attraction for men. But _fortunately_ for me, he doesn’t feel uncomfortable with the fact that I see him that way, so it doesn’t affect our friendship or working relationship all that much. He trusts me not to do anything he’d be uncomfortable with, and I trust him not to use my feelings for him against me.”

“Wait,” Puck said slowly, realization dawning. “When you say Aaron and Derek and David….”

“My teammates, yes.” He shrugged. “We don’t have as much free time as most people do, and hardly anyone outside the BAU ever really understands or appreciates the work we do and how dedicated we are to it. It just works out best that our romantic relationships are with people who go on the job with us.” As an afterthought, Spencer added, “Not always, of course. Some of us have relationships outside of the team. And it took our bosses a long while to decide that it was okay that we are romantically interconnected.”

“I’ll bet,” Puck said. “That must make it difficult to be in the field, always worrying about each other.”

“It does, frequently. But even if we weren’t _together_ , we still care immensely about each other. Work long enough with the Behavioral Analysis Unit to do the job well, and you’ll start considering your teammates to be family. It takes a special kind of person to be able to do this job, and it’s not worth splitting up an effective team for the sake of protocol.” Spencer smirked. “It’s still true, but we to exaggerate it a bit to our bosses in order to all keep our jobs once the administration found out.”

Puck chuckled. By now, he’d forgotten that Spencer had said he should tell his friend _s_ , plural, how he felt, though the idea of polyamory had certainly stuck in his brain.

They moved on to lighter topics while they waited for Finn and Derek to return.

 

Once Finn had led Derek to the nearby empty band room, he turned and blurted out, “Is it possible for a girl to get pregnant from sitting in a hot tub with a guy when he… you know…?”

Derek froze for a moment, blinking in surprise. This was _not_ something he’d expected Finn to ask him. “C-can I ask why you’re asking me?”

Finn’s shoulders slumped. “I can’t talk to my mom until I know whether the baby is mine or not, and I don’t have any other adults I’d feel comfortable asking. Puck said you were cool, so….”

“Let’s sit down,” Derek suggested, trying to get his thoughts together. “Firstly, the answer to your question is _no_. Even if the chemicals in the water didn’t kill the sperm, the temperature would do the job long before the sperm managed to, against all odds, actually make it inside of her. Either you two had sex and you don’t want to admit it, or she….”

Finn nodded. “I thought so. I mean, it sounded weird when she told me on Tuesday, but then Puck admitted to me that he had sex with her, so now I’m sure she was lying.”

“Whoa, whoa, wait. You just found out that Noah had sex with your girlfriend? And you’re still talking to him?” Derek was amazed. Most guys, especially high school guys, would have thrown punches in a situation like this.

“I’m upset with him, but… well, considering everything he’s been through, I get it, even if it was stupid and mean. He was just trying to control his sex life for the first time. The way he went about it was stupid, but at least it’s understandable.

“It’s _Quinn_ that I’m angry at. She’s the one who’s been telling me we shouldn’t have sex because we’re not married. I assumed that, since she didn’t want to have sex with anyone, I didn’t have to worry about her cheating on me. I would have loved to have some… experiences with her, even if we never went all the way. I was fine with that. So if she changed her mind about waiting, why didn’t she have sex with _me_?” He sighed. “It’s not so much that she had sex with somebody else. If she’d been with somebody before we got together, I wouldn’t care. But she specifically told me she wasn’t going to have sex before she got married, and then she went and cheated on me.”

Derek nodded. “It’s perfectly normal for you to be angry at her.” Privately, he thought it would be more normal if he was directing his anger at Noah, but then he thought through the situation again. If Finn cared more about Noah than his girlfriend, it would make sense that Noah would get his forgiveness first. And considering what he’d observed of Noah’s behavior….

 _Huh_ , Derek thought, _maybe I should ask Spencer for his opinion. Maybe there’s a simple explanation after all._

“I’ve been thinking about why she started going out with me,” Finn went on, interrupting Derek’s thoughts. “It was the last week of school last year, right after we heard that I was gonna be the quarterback this year, when she asked me out. What if the reason she didn’t want to have sex was because she was just dating me because that’s what cheerleaders do—date the quarterback—and she had sex with Puck because she actually likes him?”

Derek quietly processed everything he’d heard. “So basically, your girlfriend was using you, and then she and Puck used each other, and now she’s pregnant and lying about who the father is?”

Finn nodded. “That about sums it up.”

Whistling lowly, Derek sat back in his chair. “And you want my advice on how to handle the situation?”

Shrugging shyly, Finn said, “If you have any to give, that’d be great.”

 

With the adjusted schedules, Finn and Kurt had one class together that Puck didn’t:  first period Sophomore Composition. When Finn walked into the classroom, he saw Kurt talking to the teacher, so he went to join them.

“Ah, Mr. Hudson, good. I was just assigning a seat to Mr. Hummel. I understand that the two of you have joined the show choir?”

“Yes,” said Kurt enthusiastically. “I’m so glad that Mr. Schuester took over the club. I wanted to join a year ago, but… well….” He trailed off awkwardly.

“What seats would you like us to take, Ms. Raijek?” Finn asked to redirect the conversation. Kurt shot him a grateful look.

Ms. Raijek sent them to their seats in the back left corner of the room. There was plenty of time before the bell, so Finn scooted his chair as close to Kurt’s as he could.

Kurt leaned back and eyed Finn suspiciously. “What?” he asked flatly.

“I need your advice,” Finn said, his voice low.

“Ooh-kaaaay. Shoot.”

Finn checked to make sure no one was listening to them. “Quinn told me that she’s pregnant, but we’ve never had sex. She gave me some bogus story about how she could be pregnant by me anyway. And the next day, without knowing what Quinn said to me, Puck told me that he slept with her before school started. The baby’s got to be his, but he doesn’t know she’s pregnant, and Quinn doesn’t know I know she cheated on me. What do I do?”

Kurt’s face was the picture of shock; his eyes were wide, and his jaw had dropped as far as it could go without unhinging. He spluttered for a moment before asking, “And you want _me_ to tell you what to do?!”

“Well, I asked Agent Morgan yesterday what he thinks,” Finn admitted, shrugging, “but the only advice he had for me was not to wait too long before deciding.” He shook his head and sighed. “It might not be my baby biologically, but it’s Puck’s baby, and he’s my best friend, so this baby is important to me, too. I’m really pissed off at Quinn, and I want to break up with her, but I’m not sure the best way to go about it. I don’t want to cause her too much stress in case it hurts her or the baby. Any ideas?”

“God, your life is ridiculous. Seriously, it’s like something out of a tabloid or a crappy novel.” Amazed that Finn was even trusting him with this information, let alone asking for his advice, Kurt sat and stared for a moment. Then he tipped his head to the side, and asked, “Who is more important to you:  Puck, Quinn, or both equally?”

“Puck,” Finn answered immediately. “He’s my best friend, and he really needs me right now.”

“Well, then you have the first part of your answer,” Kurt said with a nod. “You have to talk to Puck first. Tell him what Quinn told you, and that you realize the baby must be his. Make sure he knows you’re there for him. And then tell Quinn that you know she cheated on you and lied about the baby being yours.”

Finn thought it over before nodding. “Yeah, that sounds good. Thanks, man.”

“Any time,” Kurt offered, smiling shyly as the bell rang and Finn moved his chair back to where it had been. He reached out and touched Finn’s arm to get his attention again. “I mean that. If you or Puck need me, I’m here. I know we’ve never been friends, but—”

“Thank you, Kurt.” He smiled. “That means a lot.”

Kurt turned away, hoping that his blush wasn’t as obvious as it felt.

 

“Welcome to the first official glee club rehearsal, guys!” Will smiled at the seven students assembled. “I’ve got a song here that I want us to start going over. Everyone please take a piece of sheet music for your vocal range. If you don’t know what that is, I’ll help you out.”

Once everyone had their music, Will asked Brad, the accompanist, to play it through once. “If you’re familiar with the song, feel free to join in this first time. Otherwise, just listen and familiarize yourself with it, alright?”

Puck turned to Finn when the music had started. “Is he fucking serious? He does know it’s not the 1960s, right?”

Finn bit his lips to keep from laughing and focused on Mr. Schuester, Rachel, Kurt, and (surprisingly) Artie singing along to “Sit Down, You’re Rocking the Boat.”

When they’d finished, Will smiled and said enthusiastically, “That was great, guys! You think you’re up for the solo part, Artie? You’ve got a great voice for this.”

“Mr. Schuester,” Rachel objected, “do you have any idea how ridiculous it is to give the lead solo in ‘Sit Down, You’re Rocking the Boat’ to a boy in a wheelchair?”

“I think Mr. Schue wants to use irony to enhance the performance,” Artie said, looking at Mr. Schuester for confirmation.

Before Will could speak up in agreement, Rachel spun around, her face angry, and insisted, “There is _nothing ironic_ about show choir.”

Unable to hold it in, Puck burst into chuckles, and several others followed suit. Rachel crossed her arms, faced away from her club mates, and waited for the laughter to stop.

When the amusement had subsided, Puck said to Mr. Schue, “Artie has a great voice, and yeah, that’d be really funny, Mr. Schue. But couldn’t we sing something more… recent?”

“As much as I love _Guys and Dolls_ ,” Kurt said, looking apologetically at Schue, “I also think doing modern music would be a better idea. The more invested we are in the songs, the better the performance will be. Rachel and I would nail every show tune you could throw at us, but that doesn’t mean anyone else would.”

“Not to mention that Artie’s voice is more suited to the rap music he loves than to show tunes,” Mercedes added.

Will looked around at his glee kids, taking in the enthusiasm on their faces. It was obvious that they felt very strongly about this. Nodding, Will suggested, “Why don’t each of you prepare a song you’d like the club to perform? We can make it an assignment. Sometime next week, I want each of you to sing for the group. Pick something you enjoy that you think others in the club will like, too.

“I’ve been thinking that we should set aside our class time on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays for you guys to use as practice time, and we can turn in assignments and practice our performances on Thursdays and Fridays. And of course we’ll rehearse on Monday and Friday afternoons, too.”

Rachel raised her hand, and Schue called on her. “Since we don’t currently have a song to rehearse, may we have access to the choir room or auditorium to rehearse our assignment on this evening and on Monday after school?”

“Sure, Rachel,” Will said, nodding. “Since we’ve already got this sheet music, let’s use ‘Sit Down, You’re Rocking the Boat’ as a practice piece, okay? Let’s start with the soprano and alto parts. Ladies?”

 

After school, Puck and Finn headed over to Finn’s house. Puck could tell that his friend was nervous, so he poked him in the arm and asked, “What gives, dude?”

“Just got something I wanna talk to you about.”

Puck nodded. When they got to the Hudson house, they went up to Finn’s room. In an effort to avoid the coming conversation as long as possible, Finn turned on his video game system. They plopped on the bed and waited for the game to load, but neither of them was really thinking about the game. They played for a while, but when the tension got to be unbearable, Puck stood up and firmly pressed the power button. Finn didn’t even bother objecting.

“Dude, just spit it out. What’s going on?”

Finn looked into Puck’s eyes and said simply, “Quinn’s pregnant. I’m pretty sure it’s yours, but she doesn’t know that I know it’s not mine.”

Puck’s entire body felt like it was frozen, and in the next moment everything kick-started. His heart was pounding too hard and too fast, his breathing was racing, and time ceased to carry any meaning.

“Shit,” Finn whispered, moving over to Puck. He’d heard about the panic attacks, but he’d never actually seen one before. He reached into Puck’s backpack to find his emergency pills, grabbed the water glass from his nightstand, and then moved back to Puck. “Hey, Puck, man, breathe with me, okay? Slow, deep breaths.”

Eventually, Puck regained his senses. He found himself kneeling on the floor in Finn’s bedroom, Finn talking softly and encouraging him to get his breathing under control. Puck took another deep breath and said, “I’m good, man. Thanks.”

“Here.” Finn handed him a pill and a glass of water, which Puck took gratefully. Finn sighed and rubbed a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry, dude. I should have had you take the pill before I talked to you.”

Puck shook his head. “No, that would have just had me freaking out while we waited for the meds to kick in.” Puck looked up, his eyes pleading. “She’s really pregnant? You’re sure?”

Finn nodded, the movement small but definitely there. “I haven’t been to the doctor with her, or anything, but she’s freaking out, so I’m pretty sure, yeah.”

“Fucking. Hell.”

“I know,” Finn whispered. “She’s definitely going to go through with the pregnancy. She refuses to even consider abortion.”

“Then what the fuck does she want to do? Keep the baby?” He could hear that his voice was still breathy and quiet. “What am I gonna do?”

Finn put an arm around Puck’s shoulders. “I have no fucking idea. But I’m here for you, whatever happens. We need to talk to Quinn and tell her that we both know.”

“Invite her over,” Puck suggested. “We’ll tell her tonight, and then we can figure out what the fuck we’re going to do next.”

Finn grabbed his cell phone and went out into the hallway to call Quinn. The conversation was short, and when Finn came back he was scowling in annoyance and confusion. “She yelled at me!”

“What for?”

“Something about expecting her to be at my beck and call. All I said was that I had something important to talk to her about, and then I asked if she could come over tonight. And she went bat-shit crazy on me.”

Puck smothered his amusement at the look on Finn’s face and asked, “She’s not coming, then?”

Finn’s expression became even more confounded, if that was possible, and said, “No, she is. She just wanted to ‘register her complaint’ about it first.” Finn deflated and looked at Puck imploringly. “Girls are so confusing!”

“Maybe it’s the pregnancy hormones.”

“Except she’s like this a lot—it isn’t new.”

Shrugging, Puck said, “Then maybe it’s a Quinn thing. Santana’s not confusing. She’s just mean.”

A small smile tugged at Finn’s lips; Puck was inordinately proud of himself that he put it there.

Before long, the doorbell was ringing. The boys moved downstairs, Puck taking a seat in the living room while he waited for Finn to let Quinn inside. He sat with his head in his hands, nervously awaiting the incredibly awkward conversation that they were all about to have.

“What the hell, Finn?! You said you had something to talk to me about! Why is Puckerman here?”

“Can you please just sit down? It involves Puck, too.”

Quinn’s face blanched at that, and her gaze shot between the two of them repeatedly. She slowly took a seat on the sofa, watching the boys warily.

Sighing, Finn crossed his arms and leaned back against the wall across from the couch. “I know that you guys had sex, and both Puck and I know now that he’s the baby’s father.”

Her breath hitching, Quinn turned her face away to hide the gathering tears. The boys gave her a moment to collect herself, waiting for her to speak.

Eventually she asked, her voice strained, “What do you want me to say?”

“Well, ‘I’m sorry for cheating on you’ would be nice,” Finn grumbled.

“Are you shitting me?” she nearly shouted. “You’re mad at me, but you’re still all buddy-buddy with _him_?!”

Finn pushed himself away from the wall and started pacing. “It’s none of your business whether or not I’m upset with him. That’s between us, and it isn’t what this conversation is about.” Finn turned to face Quinn, his expression deeply pained. “This is about you cheating on me, and that you and Puck are going to have a baby. You went and had sex with someone else when you _knew_ that I would have been willing to share that with you, when _you_ were the one who didn’t want to do that before you were married. The only reason I can think of for you doing that is that you just didn’t want to have sex with _me_.”

Quinn spun to face Puck. “The _only_ reason I had sex with you is because you got me drunk on wine coolers and I felt fat that day.”

“That’s a load of horse shit,” Puck said lowly. “I brought you _one_ drink, because I was getting myself another beer and you asked me to grab you one. And the only reason I asked you to go upstairs with me was because you kept looking me up and down and licking your lips. I assumed you wanted me to ask.” Puck turned to Finn with an apologetic look. “I’m sorry you had to hear that from me instead of her—she should have been the one to tell you what she did—but I’m not going to let her wiggle out of any responsibility in this mess. We both fucked up,” he said, looking back at Quinn, “and now we’re both going to have to deal with the consequences.”

Finn didn’t know what to think. He’d already realized that Quinn must not actually like him for himself, but to hear it confirmed was… incredibly painful. His heart aching, he looked down at his shoes.

Puck broke through Finn’s thoughts by continuing, “I screwed up, sleeping with you without thinking about birth control. But I’m not the only one who’s responsible for the situation we’re in.”

“The situation _Finn and I_ are in,” she snarled. “You are not having _anything_ to do with this baby!”

“The _hell_ I’m not!”

“The _hell_ he’s not!”

Surprised that they’d spoken at the same time with the same sentiment, Puck and Finn looked at each other. Puck’s eyes shown with gratitude, and Finn’s with understanding.

Quinn stood up and tipped her nose into the air. “ _Finn_ is my boyfriend. _Finn_ is the one who’s going through this with me.”

Finn shook his head and said, lowly, “ _Finn_ is breaking up with you.”

“Wh-what?” Quinn was floored. “So you’ll forgive _him_ , but you won’t even _consider_ forgiving me?”

“Forgiving you and staying in a relationship with you are not the same thing, Quinn.” He shook his head again. “I can’t stay with someone who obviously was never dating me because she actually _liked_ me.”

Angry, Quinn demanded, “Then what do you expect me to do here, Finn?”

He gestured to Puck with both hands. “Let Puck be involved in the pregnancy! He wants to do it. And I’ll be involved, too, because my ex-girlfriend and my best friend are having a baby, so I’ll be there for the two of you and the kid. But I’m not going to let you pretend that Puck isn’t that baby’s dad. For god’s sake, Quinn, how can you expect the both of us to lie to everybody like that? You realize you’re asking me to tell my mom she’s a grandmother when she’s not, and for Puck’s mom to never know she has a grandchild, right? That’s beyond stupid.”

Quinn sank back into her seat, bringing her hands up to her face. Her voice was muffled when she cried, “Then what am I supposed to do? My parents will already kill me for sleeping with my boyfriend. I don’t even want to imagine what they’ll do when they hear that he’s not the one who got me pregnant.”

Puck resented the fact that she kept putting all of the responsibility on him. Yeah, he’d fucked up, too, but it took two to tango, as they say. It wasn’t Quinn’s fault that he was used to the women he slept with handling the birth control, but it was both their faults that they got drunk and had sex without thinking about any of the possible consequences.

Quinn continued to cry, her sobs wavering back and forth between subsiding and increasing in intensity. The boys shared a look before going to either side of her and wrapping her in their arms.

Once Quinn’s tears had settled, she gently pulled away to start some pacing of her own. Eventually, she admitted, “I don’t know what to do. I refuse to get an abortion, which means I’ll have to tell my parents. And as much as I hate the idea, I’m going to have to quit the Cheerios, too. In a few months, I’m going to be too heavy to be able to fit in my uniform, let alone the fact that I’ll be too heavy and inflexible to perform!

“And what happens after the baby is born? I can’t raise a baby! I’ll be sixteen when I give birth! But I don’t know if I can give it up for adoption, either.” She hugged her arms to herself and looked pleadingly at both of them. “What do we do?”

“Right now,” Puck said calmly, “we worry about keeping you and the baby healthy. You need to quit the Cheerios _now_ —because it’s too dangerous for the baby, not because _you_ won’t be able to perform soon—and see an OBGYN.”

“You also need to tell your parents,” Finn said to both of them. “And I’ll tell my mom. They can help us figure out where to go from there.”

They made plans for when and how to speak to their parents, Puck offered to have his mom help him set up an appointment for Quinn, and Finn and Puck insisted that she go to Coach Sylvester on Monday to quit the cheering squad. When Quinn left, they all felt emotionally drained; the conversation had been beyond difficult, but they all felt a little more secure now that there were no secrets and they had a plan of action.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Justin Timberlake's "What Goes Around."


	8. Ch 7: Laughing on a Park Bench

“How are the medications working out for you, Noah?” Dr. Byoun asked after they’d exchanged pleasantries and sat down in her office.

He nodded. “Pretty well. I used the emergency med on Wednesday, like you suggested, and again on Friday after school.”

Dr. Byoun could tell something serious had happened on Friday. “Why don’t you tell me about how your conversation with Finn on Wednesday went, and then you can tell me about the other incident.”

Puck related his and Finn’s discussion from Wednesday afternoon. “I still don’t understand why he’s not angry at me. If he’d done something like that to me, I don’t know if I’d ever be able to be his friend again, let alone avoid yelling at him.”

“There are two important things that you are forgetting, though,” Dr. Byoun pointed out. “Firstly, you didn’t do this _to Finn_. You made a mistake, but you didn’t do it to make Finn upset, or to prove that you are better than him, or to steal away his girlfriend. And secondly, if Finn had been the one to have sex with the person you were dating, there wouldn’t be a significant recent trauma to explain Finn’s behavior. He can’t help feeling hurt, but there is no anger because he understands the motivations behind your behavior.”

“But _how_ does he understand it? Even _I_ don’t understand everything about why I slept with Quinn or how I feel about the prostitution thing, and I’m the one who went through it.” Puck sighed and shook his head in confusion. “Why does it make sense to him when it doesn’t even make sense to _me_?”

Dr. Byoun leaned back in her chair. “I think it _does_ make sense to you, though,” she said challengingly. “Why did you ask Quinn to go upstairs with you at that party, Noah?”

He shrank back in his chair, not wanting to address the ideas that had been spinning around in his head. Eventually, he realized that Dr. Byoun wouldn’t let them move on to another subject until he’d come clean, so he sighed deeply and stared at his lap. “I think… I think I picked Quinn because it was actually _Finn_ that I wanted to be with, and she was as close as I could get to that,” he said, his voice nearly too soft to be heard.

Dr. Byoun nodded to herself; she had suspected as much. “Did it work? Did you feel comforted by that contact with Quinn?”

“No,” Puck said, his voice not quite as quiet this time. “I felt like shit afterward. I took advantage of Quinn, and it wasn’t even her I was having sex with, not in my head. And I felt guilty for thinking about Finn that way.” He tilted his head in thought for a moment. “Well,” he qualified, “that was part of it. But most of the guilt was because I’d decided that I wasn’t going to let myself be… into guys, and I failed.”

“Which was inevitable, with that as your goal,” Dr. Byoun pointed out. “The guilt you feel over your sexuality is a learned behavior, Noah. I’ll continue to say this to you until you believe it wholeheartedly:  There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You are attracted to men, and there is nothing broken or disgusting or perverted about that. It is an incredibly natural thing to feel romantic and sexual attraction to another person. You happen to _naturally_ feel attraction to other males. It’s not a flaw—it’s a fact.”

Puck felt tears running down his face. “I know that,” he whispered. “Maybe someday I’ll _feel_ like it’s true, too.”

Smiling, Dr. Byoun leaned back in her chair. “I know you will. You learned to despise your sexual orientation through societal reinforcement. You just need exposure to a more positive and supportive type of reinforcement to counteract that.”

They moved on then to what had happened on Friday evening. Puck told the psychiatrist about how Finn had told him that Quinn was pregnant, and that Finn had figured out it had to be Puck’s baby. He explained the conversation the three of them had had and what they planned to do next.

Dr. Byoun was stunned. It wasn’t unusual for teenagers to forget to use birth control, or to use it incorrectly, but she was surprised to hear about the young woman’s naivety in thinking she could convince Finn, who was a virgin, that he had fathered her child. She was further amazed to hear that, after finding out that Finn and Noah knew who the father was, Quinn had still expected Finn to remain in a relationship with her and pretend that the baby was his. How could she want to cut Noah out of their child’s future when he so obviously wanted to be there?

After a moment of contemplation, Dr. Byoun said, “I think it’s wonderful that you want to be involved and take responsibility, Noah. And I’m very proud of how well you are handling the news. You’re being far more mature about the situation than Quinn is, from what you’ve told me.” She smiled and added, “I’m also happy to hear that Finn has offered his continuing support even though he is no longer dating Quinn. You have a wonderful friend.”

Puck huffed a laugh. “Yeah, I do. He’s been… awesome.”

It was clear to the doctor that Puck was in love with his best friend. She hoped things would work out well in that department, but she was realistic enough to know that, even if Finn turned out to be interested in men in general and Puck in particular, high school relationships rarely lasted all that long. Hoping to assist them in retaining their close bond, she asked, “Do you think Finn would join us for a session sometime? I think it would do you both some good to have him here. You’ll have the extra support, and he can gain some further understanding of what you’re going through.”

Puck agreed that they could do that on the condition that Dr. Byoun not let him know how Puck felt about him; she agreed readily.

“Well,” she sighed, “we’ve got a few minutes left. Is there anything else you’d like to discuss before we finish our session, Noah?”

“Actually,” he said slowly, “I did want to ask you about something.” Puck told her all about his conversation with Dr. Reid about polyamory. “Is that… common?”

After a moment to gather her thoughts, Dr. Byoun said, “Not _common_ , but not altogether rare, either. Polyamory takes many different forms, and there are other forms of non-monogamy that don’t fit into the polyamory category. But I’ve met a few poly people through schooling and my work.” She considered Noah for a moment. “Do you think that’s something you might be interested in?”

Puck shrugged. “Not sure, really. I just was really surprised to learn about it. It’s been on my mind a lot ever since.”

“That’s perfectly natural. Curiosity doesn’t have to have any ‘deeper meaning.’ Polyamory certainly isn’t for everyone, but lots of people are very happy living a poly lifestyle, and some do not find true romantic happiness in any other way.” Dr. Byoun checked the clock again. “Looks like our time is up for today, Noah. I’ll see you next Wednesday.”

 

“What song are you gonna do for the glee assignment?” asked Finn as he and Puck drove back to Lima.

“Haven’t really thought about it yet. Thought I’d work on it this afternoon. Maybe we could hit the music store to get some ideas?” Puck suggested.

“Oh, that’s a great idea! I’ll head there, then. Maybe I can get my mom’s birthday present there. She’s really into Ed Sheeran right now….”

The boys chatted about possibilities and sang along to the radio as they drove. Puck was feeling… strange after his session that day. He’d admitted out loud how he felt about Finn, and the world hadn’t ended. In fact, his psychiatrist had talked like she’d already figured it out.

Did that mean that other people could tell, or was it just because she’d been hearing Puck talk about a lot of things that he’d never told anyone else?

…Did _Finn_ know?

 _Probably not_ , Puck thought, shaking off the worry as much as he could. _Much as I love the guy, he’s not the most observant person._

That thought pulled Puck up short. He’d known for a long time that he loved Finn, but he’d never meant it romantically before. Was that how he felt now?

His reverie was broken when the car pulled to a stop. He realized that they had made it back to Lima and to the parking lot of the music store. Puck assured Finn that he was fine when Finn asked, and they headed inside.

Finn headed straight for an employee to ask which genre section he should look in for Ed Sheeran CDs, and Puck started wandering the aisles. He jumped lightly in surprise when a familiar voice said, “Fancy meeting you here.”

Puck spun around to see Kurt, who was holding a couple of CDs with the backs facing him so he could read the track lists. “Hey,” Puck said. “You had the same idea, looks like.”

“Yeah,” Kurt said, smiling. “I thought I’d try to step a little outside my box and pick something that the rest of the group won’t hate.”

“Show tunes don’t _suck_ ,” Puck assured him. “They’re just predictable for show choir.”

“You won’t hear me arguing.” Kurt tilted his head. “You okay? You look… I dunno, upset-ish.”

Puck huffed. “That’s probably putting it mildly.” He stared at the case in his hand for a moment before saying, quickly and quietly, “Quinn’s pregnant. It’s mine. Finn broke up with her.”

Kurt bit his lip. “Yeah, I heard. Not that he’d officially broken it off, but I knew it was coming.”

“How did you hear?” Puck asked worriedly.

“Oh, Finn told me on Friday during first period. He wanted advice on how to break the news to you guys.” Seeing the look on Noah’s face, he assured him, “Don’t worry, I won’t say anything. I… know what it’s like to want to keep something secret.”

Puck considered that. He understood what it was like to want to keep your sexual orientation secret, too. But he also knew now how good it felt to be honest with someone you felt safe with. Screwing up his courage, he said, “I’m also pretty sure I’m gay.”

Kurt blinked at him for a moment. Finally, his voice low, he said, “You and Finn are a perfect pair. You just like to shock me, don’t you? Just spit all the crazy out and see me react.” He ran a hand over his face. “Why did you tell _me_?”

“Because I’m not sure I’m ready to tell Finn yet,” he admitted, “but I had to tell someone.”

Kurt bit his lip. “I’m gay, too.”

Rolling his eyes and smiling, Puck lightly punched Kurt in the arm. “Yeah, I knew that, dude.”

“But I’d never said it out loud to someone my age, either. The only person I’ve told is my dad.”

“Fuck,” Puck swore lightly, “I have no idea how I’m going to tell my mom. She’s gonna flip.”

Kurt nodded sympathetically. “I’ve heard horror stories about what can happen when a teenager comes out to their parents. If worse comes to worst and you need a place to stay, my door’s open. My dad doesn’t really understand yet, but he’s cool about it, at least. He’s known since I was little, apparently, and he’s dealing pretty well.”

Smiling in thanks, Puck nodded. “I’ll keep that in mind. Thanks, dude.”

“Anytime, _dude_.” Kurt wrinkled his nose at the un-Kurt-like term, and Puck laughed.

Finn caught up with them then. “Hey, Kurt! Looking for ideas for glee, too?”

The three of them spent a good two hours sorting through the music, tossing ideas for their assignment back and forth, suggesting horrible songs for each other and laughing at the responses. They planned to keep their own final selections to themselves so that the others would be surprised. By the time they left the shop, all three were feeling warm and content, each excited to present their own choices and learn what the others had decided on.

That night, Puck’s dreams were shot through with music of all kinds and two smiling, mischievous faces.

 

Sunday was the big day:  Finn, Puck, and Quinn were all going to tell their parents that Quinn was pregnant with Puck’s baby.

After Hannah had left to go over to a friend’s house, Puck made his mom a cup of coffee and went to sit down with her in the living room.

“Can I talk to you about some stuff, Mom?” Puck asked hesitantly.

Sarah was instantly on alert. Considering everything else she’d been learning about her son’s life lately, it wasn’t all that surprising. “Sure, honey,” she said, patting the couch cushion next to her. “What’s on your mind?”

Puck took a deep breath and then told his mom everything about the party that night.

“Oh, Noah,” she sighed, petting his hair. “If you’re asking for my advice, the first thing I’d say is that you need to tell Finn about it before he finds out from someone else.”

“I already told him,” Puck said. “On Wednesday.”

Sarah cocked her head at him. “You two spent the day together yesterday after your appointment. Things must be alright between you, then.”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “That was only the first part of what I wanted to tell you.” He sighed. “The thing is, on Friday, Finn told me that Quinn is pregnant, and they’ve never had sex. I guess she tried to tell him that there was some other way that he managed to get her pregnant, but he’d already guessed that she was lying to him. Anyway, after I told him what Quinn and I had done, he realized the baby had to be mine.”

“Oh, Noah,” Sarah sighed again. “You’re… going to be a parent?”

He shrugged. “If you mean biologically, then definitely, ‘cause she’s gonna have the baby. But I don’t know yet what’s going to happen after she gives birth. Nothing’s been decided.”

They sat quietly for a while. Eventually, Sarah asked, “Has she been to a doctor?”

“Not yet. I was hoping you’d help get her set up with somebody.”

“Of course,” Sarah soothed, running her hand through Puck’s hair. Sighing, she asked, “Is there any other news you’d like to drop on me while we’re at it? There’s been so much these last couple of weeks; I don’t think anything could surprise me anymore.”

Puck gave a short, humorless laugh. “Don’t speak too soon.”

“My god, what now?”

Looking at his lap, Puck said softly, “I’m gay, Mom.”

It was quiet for a while, but eventually Sarah pulled Puck’s face around so she could look in his eyes to say, “You’re my child, and I love you. No matter who or what you are, that won’t change.”

His breath hitched, and he threw his arms around her. She could hear him softly mumbling ‘thank you’ over and over again into her blouse. She waited until he collected himself and then said lightly, “At least I don’t have to worry that you’ll never have children. But you know, Noah, I’m far too young to be a grandmother.”

Puck choked out a laugh and pulled back, smiling at her teasing tone. “You don’t look a day over thirty-five, Mom.”

“That’s because I’m thirty-four, you rascal.”

 

Finn fidgeted with his hands while his mom watched him intently. She sighed, “You can tell me anything, darling, you know that.”

“I broke up with Quinn,” he blurted out.

She blinked. “Well, I’m sorry to hear that, but—and I don’t mean to be insensitive here—is that all? Only, I expected something a lot worse from how nervous you are.”

“She cheated on me. With Puck,” he explained.

“Oh… oh, Finn, I’m so sorry. Losing your girlfriend and your best friend all at once—”

“I haven’t lost Puck,” he said, looking confused. “I mean, I’m not happy about it, but we’re fine.”

It was Carol’s turn to be confused. “I’m not sure I understand.”

Finn bit his lip for a moment, considering. “I can’t really tell you all the details, because it’s not my place to say. All you need to know is that there is a good reason that Puck wasn’t using his brain very much at the time, and he didn’t have sex with Quinn to hurt me. He picked her because she encouraged him.”

“Why would she do that?” Carol asked. “She’s the president of the Celibacy Club!”

“I asked her the same question. She didn’t really have an answer.” He shook his head and waved his hand. “But that’s not the most important part. The reason I needed to tell you this is because Quinn is pregnant. It’s Puck’s baby.”

Carol’s mouth dropped open. Finn found it distantly amusing how similar her expression was to the one Kurt had worn when he’d told this story the last time. Finally, Carol said faintly, “Does Puck know?”

Finn nodded. “Yeah. He and Quinn are both supposed to tell their parents today, too.”

“Sarah’s going to flip,” was all Carol could think to reply. When Finn dropped onto the couch next to her, she asked, “What can I do to help? Do they need anything?”

“Not yet. Puck said he’d ask his mom to get her an appointment with a baby doctor, and Quinn is going to quit the Cheerios tomorrow. But other than that, nothing’s been decided. Quinn doesn’t know yet whether she wants to keep the baby or give it up for adoption.”

“What does Puck want?” Carol asked.

Finn shrugged. “I don’t know. He hasn’t had as long to process everything, though, ‘cause he only found out on Friday.”

With a firm nod, Carol said, “Well, whatever they both decide they want to do, you let them know that I’ll be there for them. If they need anything, I’ll do what I can to see that they get it.”

Finn wrapped his arms around his mother’s shoulders. “You’re amazing, Mom. I love you.”

“Back a’cha, sweetheart.”

 

“What d’you mean, you didn’t tell them? What the hell, Quinn!”

“I _can’t_ ,” she cried. “Do you have any idea what they’ll do to me when they find out?”

Puck shook his head in exasperation. “You don’t honestly think you’ll be able to hide the fact that you’re pregnant forever, do you? They’re going to get suspicious when you stop cheering at football games and start gaining baby weight.”

Quinn brushed away the tear on her cheek. “I know that. But I can’t just blurt this out to them. And I have to have contingency plans in case… in case they throw me out.”

 _Some parents_ , Puck thought venomously. _No kid should ever even have to worry that that’s a possibility. My kid is **never** going to wonder if I’ll love and support them._

The ferocity of that thought made Puck rock back on his heels. Did he actually want to raise his baby? He was only fifteen! The baby would probably be born not long after his birthday, considering when they’d had sex. There was no way he’d be able to raise a child.

And yet… the thought was more and more pervasive the longer he thought about the fact that he was going to be a dad.

Quinn’s voice brought him back to the present moment. “I need to make sure I’ve got somewhere to go before I tell them. And I have to come up with the perfect way to do it.” She shook her head in frustration. “I’m going to Coach Sylvester today to quit the squad, but my parents will just have to wait.”

She started to walk away, but after a few steps she turned back. “And I think I want to take Finn up on his offer to join glee club.”

Puck watched her walk away, not sure that her being in glee would be comfortable but willing to give it a try. She would need both the friends and the distraction once her parents and the school found out about her pregnancy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Taylor Swift's "You Belong With Me."


	9. Ch 8: Safe Here

MID NOVEMBER

Sectionals were fast approaching, and the glee club was, amazingly, shaping up to be the biggest source of drama in Puck’s life. The trials weren’t scheduled to start until February, so he still had time to decide whether or not he wanted to testify on the stand; Quinn had briefly stayed with Finn and then Puck when she’d been kicked out of her house, but she was now living with Mercedes’s family, which was apparently going very well; and Dr. Byoun had helped Puck find the perfect balance of meds and therapy, enough that he was down to about one emergency pill every ten days or so instead of a couple times every week.

Even his friendships were running smoothly. Puck still hadn’t come out to Finn, but they were closer than ever. He was spending most of his free time with at least one of his glee friends. And he was regularly hanging out with Kurt, both alone and with Finn.

And as much as he tried to ignore the thoughts, Dr. Reid’s words about polyamory frequently entered Puck’s brain when he thought about Finn and Kurt. They weren’t unpleasant thoughts, but he wasn’t quite ready to deal with them, so he pushed them aside in favor of more urgent issues most of the time.

Glee, though—good god, that club was a mess. It started with Principal Figgins giving them an ultimatum—place at regionals, or the club would be disbanded. Then Schue found out that they would have to have at least twelve members in order to compete at all, and with Quinn joining up, they’d still only had eight. Luckily, Finn, Puck, and Quinn were able to convince two other football players and two Cheerios to join up. Puck had been sure that they were all set at that point.

But of course, he was wrong. At the end of October, Coach Tanaka had taken his emotional frustrations out on glee club and briefly forced the guys to choose between glee and football; thank god that Finn had somehow managed to change his mind. Coach Sylvester had listened in on a jam session where the glee kids had been singing a song that was, according to her, inappropriate for school (Puck still thought that, if it had been the Cheerios, she never would have thrown up such a stink about “Baby Got Back”) and demanded that she be given veto power over their set list for sectionals. Because of that, they still didn’t have a finalized set list, and sectionals were now only three weeks away.

There had been other, more minor drama, too:  having to raise money for the wheelchair-accessible bus to get them to sectionals, Kurt’s botched tryout for the “Defying Gravity” solo (Puck and Finn had both been so upset when they’d found out he’d missed the high note on purpose), and Rachel developing a crush on Finn for similar reasons that Quinn had wanted to go out with him—they were the ‘lead’ singers in glee, and therefore should be dating. Puck was constantly grateful that Finn had recognized her motivations, mostly thanks to his experience with Quinn, and refused her advances.

Puck was sick and tired of the glee club just reacting when ridiculous shit went down, though. Glee needed a plan, and they needed one now. During class that Monday, he called all of the kids to attention and explained what he’d been thinking.

“I say we pick three songs on our own and practice them. If at sectionals we don’t feel confident with the songs that Sylvester finally lets us settle on, we can just perform what we’ve practiced and say ‘to hell with her.’”

Kurt smirked at Puck. “A show choir coup. I’m in!”

“All in favor?” asked Finn, looking around at the rest of the glee kids.

Everyone raised their hands and called out, “Aye!”

“The ‘aye’s have it,” announced Rachel. “That’s settled. Now we only need to choose our songs, plan the choreography, make the costumes, and rehearse.”

“Yeah,” Mercedes drawled sarcastically. “ _Only_.”

 

“Alright guys, settle in!” called Schue as the kids filed into the choir room that day for their after-school rehearsal. “There’s a new rule for sectionals this year:  one of our songs has to be a ballad. Who can tell me what a ballad is?”

“How can a song be a male duck?” Brittany asked.

When Schue gave her a confused look, Kurt turned around and put his hand on hers. “That’s a Ballard, Brit.”

“Oh, that’s right. Thanks, Kurt.”

“R-iiiight,” Schue said. “Anybody know what a ballad is?”

“It’s a love song,” said Kurt.

“Well, sometimes. A ballad is any story set to music. All of you are going to sing a ballad for one of your teammates. The selection will be random; you’ll draw someone’s name out of a bowl.”

The class lined up to draw a name, with Puck at the front. He was pleasantly surprised to draw Quinn. After showing his slip to Mr. Schuester, who wrote down his assignment, he went back to his seat. He noticed Kurt biting his lip to hide a smile and couldn’t help his own smile in response. Finn simply looked deep in thought. The curiosity ate at him, but Puck forced it back. He’d find out soon enough.

After rehearsal, Puck, Finn, and Kurt walked out to the parking lot together. They had barely gotten past the doors when Puck was practically accosted by a young man carrying a small recorder, which he shoved in Puck’s face.

“Noah Puckerman, correct? I’m Cory Dryden with _The Lima News_ newspaper. Is it true that you were one of the victims of the prostitution ring broken up this past September?”

Puck’s body froze in the familiar precursor to his panic attacks. Kurt immediately grabbed Puck’s bag to dig out his meds, grabbing Puck’s arm and pulling him toward Finn’s truck once he’d found them. Finn took this as his cue to get the guy to leave them alone.

“What the hell, man? He’s a minor, so even if it was him, you shouldn’t be printing anything about it! Now get lost, before I call the cops!”

Unfortunately, several members of the basketball team had heard every word that the reporter and Finn had said. “Fuck,” Finn swore under his breath, heading to his car to catch up with his friends. “Puck, man, I’m so sorry.”

“Not your fault,” he croaked.

“Come on, Puck,” Kurt urged gently. “Climb in. We need to get you out of here.”

Puck got up into the cab of Finn’s truck with Kurt’s assistance and then scooted to the middle, pulling Kurt with him. “Come back for your car?” he asked, his voice so timid that Finn and Kurt’s worry kicked up a few notches.

“Sure, Noah.” Kurt climbed in and shut the door. Finn soon slid into the driver’s seat, and then they were off.

When they reached Puck’s place, the boys immediately moved to Puck’s room. To distract Puck from the fact that, soon, everyone at McKinley would know about his personal demons, they started searching for song possibilities for their assignment. Puck was worn out from the drama in the parking lot, though, and quickly fell asleep.

“How did that reporter even figure out that he was one of the victims?” Finn asked Kurt when they were sure that Puck had fallen asleep, tripping over the last word. Even though he knew the impact of what Puck had gone through, he didn’t like thinking of Puck as a _victim_.

Noting Finn’s discomfort, Kurt suggested, “Use the word ‘survivor’ instead.” He shook his head. “Maybe there was enough information in the police reports that they could narrow down who was involved? But why would someone do that when they know that they’re not allowed to report on minors?”

Neither of them had an answer for that, so they sat quietly for a while, watching Noah sleep.

“What are we gonna do?” Finn whispered to Kurt. “Everybody’s gonna know. Or, they’ll _think_ they know. He’s had a hard enough time with this without the idiots at school making it worse.”

“I know.” Kurt sighed. “I wish we could put him in a protective bubble or something.”

Finn looked at Kurt, his expression thoughtful. “We could make sure he never has to walk anywhere alone until it starts to die down. You and me, and maybe the other glee kids… then at least we can deflect most of the attention.”

“I’ll call Mercedes and start spreading the word.” He bit his lip. “How much do I tell them?”

“No details, just that someone found out Puck was involved, and some basketball players heard. Tell her that he’s already got enough to deal with, and he doesn’t need to have this problem on top of it.”

Kurt nodded, rested his hand on Finn’s arm for a moment while he watched Noah sleep, and then moved to the hallway to start making calls.

 

“Oh my god!” Rachel exclaimed quietly to Mercedes. She took her phone call into her room and closed the door so that her dads wouldn’t overhear. “Is Puck okay?”

“ _It didn’t sound like it_ ,” Mercedes answered. “ _Kurt and Finn want to make sure he has somebody with him at all times during the school day to keep the creeps and busybodies away. He gave me Puck’s schedule so we can all coordinate. Quinn’s here with me; can you conference in the rest of glee club? We need to figure out a schedule._ ”

“Yeah, I’m on it. Give me a minute….”

 

The next day, the entire school was buzzing. Anytime Puck moved through the hallway, he got looks ranging from curious to pitying to disgusted (mostly football players, hockey guys, and religious fundamentalist). Most people whispered, but several—usually those throwing him disgusted looks—didn’t bother to keep their voices down. Finn nearly got in several fights, but Kurt managed to talk him down each time.

After fifth period, while Finn was walking Kurt and Puck to their sixth-period literature class, Azimio and Karofski spotted them. Azimio looked in their direction and practically shouted, “Shame that Puckerman had to get violated by nasty old guys like Ryerson. But then, I always suspected he was queer. Bet the nasty-ass _liked it_.”

Karofski laughed, and Finn’s hands immediately clenched into fists. He nearly dove after them, but Kurt, Mike, and Matt were able to hold him back.

“They aren’t worth getting suspended over,” Puck insisted quietly. It was the third time that Finn had had to be stopped from slamming someone into the lockers.

Kurt gave Finn an unimpressed look. “You need to be here for Noah. There were plenty of teachers who heard. Look, they’re already dealing with it.” Kurt’s look softened then as he looked between his two closest friends. “It’s really sweet how much you want to look out for him, but he needs you _here_ , not at home because you got suspended for fighting.”

Puck tried to protest at that, but Kurt shot him a look. “We _want_ to be here for you, you know that. Drop it.”

At lunch time, half of glee went to the cafeteria to get everyone’s lunch and the other half, including Puck, went straight to the choir room.

“Did Schue talk to you today?” Tina asked Puck. “I spoke to him before first period so he’d be aware of everything.”

Puck shrugged. “He told me I could hand in today’s assignment later in the week if I needed to, but that was it. It was obvious that he knew, though.” Puck sighed in relief when Finn, Mike, Rachel, Brittany, Matt, and Santana joined the rest of them in the choir room. They handed out the lunches they were carrying and all settled in.

Halfway through his meal, Puck looked up and interrupted the casual conversations. “Thanks, everybody. I really appreciate it.”

Kurt put a hand on Puck’s arm, and Finn shifted his weight so that his left side was pressed to Puck’s right. Everybody else gave him a smile, some sad, some just supportive.

“That’s what friends are for!” Brittany said brightly.

 

On Thursday in class, Mr. Schue stood up. “So I was approached on Tuesday morning about a suggested change in this week’s assignment, so we’re mixing things up a bit.” He turned to Puck. “Your friends all wanted the chance to sing their ballads to you, Puck. And I believe that Brittany, Santana, Mike, and Matt would like to go first.”

The four of them stood at the front of the room in a line, all of them smiling at Puck.

“This is gonna be sappy, isn’t it?” Puck grumbled. Everyone laughed, and someone shoved his shoulder, but Puck was smiling anyway. He told himself that he would not, under any circumstances, cry.

He wanted to laugh, instead, when they started their _a capella_ song.

“ _We’re your friends._  
We’re your friends.  
We’re your friends to the bitter end (the bitter end).

“ _When you’re alone (when you’re alone)_  
Who comes around (who comes around)  
To pluck you up (to pluck you up)  
When you are down (when you are down)?

“ _And when you’re_  
Outside looking in,  
Who’s there to  
Open the door?  
That’s (that’s) what (what)  
Friends are for.

“ _Who’s always_  
Eager to extend  
A friendly  
Claw?  
That’s what  
Friends are for.

“ _And when you’re lost_  
In dire need  
Who’s at your side  
At lightning speed?

“ _We’re friends with ev’ry_  
Creature coming down the pike.  
In fact we’ve never met  
An animal we didn’t like (didn’t like).

“ _So you can see we’re friends._  
We’re friends in need and friends in deed.  
(Oh, friends in deed!)  
(Oh, friends in deed!)

“ _We’ll keep you_  
Safe in the jungle  
Forever more!  
That’s what friends are for!”

The group cheered for Matt’s exceptionally low baritone on the last line. Puck laughed and smiled, standing to give the four of them a hug.

“That was fantastic, you guys,” said Schue. “I think Quinn is next up.”

Santana pulled a stool over for Quinn, who smiled in thanks. She sat herself down and said, “This song has been a comfort to me, lately. I’m not sure if it’ll do the same for you, but I hope so.

“ _When I am down, and, oh, my soul, so weary,_  
When troubles come, and my heart burdened be,  
Then I am still and wait here in the silence  
Until you come and sit a while with me.

“ _You raise me up so I can stand on mountains._  
You raise me up to walk on stormy seas.  
I am strong when I am on your shoulders.  
You raise me up to more than I can be.”

“Thanks, Quinn,” Puck said as he helped her down from the stool. They hugged, and then Puck put his hands on her belly and smiled. He was still struggling with the idea of his daughter being put up for adoption, but he knew it was the only realistic option.

Rachel was next, so she promptly moved to the front of the room. A rather old song started to play when she signaled to Mr. Schue.

“ _When you’re down and troubled_  
And you need some lovin’ care  
And nothing, no, nothing is going right  
Just close your eyes and think of me  
And soon I’ll be there  
To brighten up, yeah, even your darkest night.

“ _You just call out my name_  
And you know, wherever I am  
I’ll come running, yeah, yeah,  
To see you again.  
Winter, spring, summer, and fall  
All you have to do is call  
And I’ll be there, yes I will.  
You’ve got a friend.”

Rachel went to Puck for her hug while Mercedes, Tina, and Artie moved to the front of the room. The music was immediately recognizable, and the glee members in the audience started swaying along.

“ _What would you do if I sang out of tune?_  
Would you stand up and walk out on me?  
Lend me your ears and I’ll sing you a song  
And I’ll try not to sing out of key.

“ _I get by with a little help from my friends._  
I get high with a little help from my friends.  
I’m gonna try with a little help from my friends.

“ _What do I do when my love is away?_  
(Does it worry you to be alone?)  
How do I feel by the end of the day?  
(Are you sad because you’re on your own?

“ _No, I get by with a little help from my friends._  
I get high with a little help from my friends.  
I’m gonna try with a little help from my friends.”

Everyone clapped while they exchanged hugs with Puck, and then Kurt stood up. He took a deep breath to center himself, and then said, “I debated over a lot of different songs, so I hope the one I finally decided on is the right one.” He nodded to Schue, who started up some more music that Puck recognized.

“ _Don’t look at me._

“ _Mmm, mmm,_  
Oh….  
Ay-ay, ay-ay,  
Oooo.

“ _Every day is so wonderful._  
Then suddenly it’s hard to breathe.  
Now and then I get insecure from all the pain.  
Feel so ashamed.

“ _I am beautiful, no matter what they say._  
Words can’t bring me down.  
Oh, no….  
I am beautiful in every single way.  
Yes, words can’t bring me down.  
Oh, no….  
So don’t you bring me down today.

“ _To all your friends you’re delirious,_  
So consumed in all your doom.  
Trying hard to fill the emptiness.  
The pieces is gone, left the puzzle undone,  
Ain’t that the way it is.

“ _You are beautiful, no matter what they say._  
Words can’t bring you down.  
Oh, no….  
You are beautiful in every single way.  
Yes, words can’t bring you down.  
Oh, no….  
So don’t you bring me down today.

“ _No matter what we do,_  
No matter what we say.  
When the song gets out of tune  
And full of beautiful mistakes,  
And everywhere we go,  
The sun will always shine,  
And tomorrow we might wake  
On the other side.

“ _Cause we are beautiful, no matter what they say._  
Yes, words won’t bring us down.  
Oh, no….  
We are beautiful in every single way,  
Yes, words can’t bring us down.  
Oh, no….  
So don’t you bring me down today!

“ _Oo, ooh-oo,_  
Ay-ay,  
Don’t you bring me down today,  
Ay-ee, oo, oh.  
Don’t you bring me down  
Oo, today.”

Puck just managed to keep his tears from running down his face, but Kurt wasn’t so lucky. It hadn’t affected his singing by some miracle, but the tears were definitely there. Puck stood and hugged Kurt tightly, not wanting to let go. Eventually, though, he had to, because Finn still had to sing his song.

Puck didn’t recognize the music to Finn’s song, but he listened intently just the same.

“ _Oh, why you look so sad?_  
The tears are in your eyes.  
Come on and come to me now.

“ _Don’t be ashamed to cry._  
Let me see you through  
‘Cause I’ve seen a dark side, too.

“ _When the night falls on you,_  
You don’t know what to do,  
Nothing you confess  
Could make me love you less.

“ _I’ll stand by you._  
I’ll stand by you,  
Won’t let nobody hurt you.  
I’ll stand by you.

“ _So, if you’re mad, get mad._  
Don’t hold it all inside.  
Come on and talk to me now.

“ _Hey, what you got to hide?_  
I get angry, too.  
Well, I’m a lot like you.

“ _When you’re standing at the crossroads_  
And don’t know which path to choose,  
Let me come along, ‘cause even if you’re wrong

“ _I’ll stand by you,_  
I’ll stand by you,  
I won’t let nobody hurt you.  
I’ll stand by you.

“ _Take me in into your darkest hour,_  
And I’ll never desert you.  
I’ll stand by you.

“ _And when, when the night_  
Falls on you, baby,  
You’re feeling all alone, you won’t be on your own.

“ _I’ll stand by you,_  
I’ll stand by you,  
I won’t let nobody hurt you,  
I’ll stand by you.

“ _Take me in into your darkest hour,_  
And I’ll never desert you.  
I’ll stand by you.

“ _Oh, I’ll stand by you.  
I’ll stand by you._ ”

Puck and Finn hugged when the song was over, Puck whispering, “Thanks, man,” as they pulled apart.

In that moment, Puck was overwhelmed with gratitude for this little family that they had created. He had their backs, and they had his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from A Day to Remember's "Have Faith in Me."


	10. Epilogue: A Matter of Trust

EARLY APRIL

Mike pulled up to the school and put his car in park. Puck had gotten a ride from him because Kurt and Finn had come early to the last rehearsal before spring break in order to practice their assignment for the week. They’d been awfully secretive about it, and it made Puck inexplicably nervous.

To be fair, though, he’d been nervous for the last two weeks, ever since he finally came out to Finn. His best friend had had hardly any reaction, and it was unsettling. When the BAU team had been in town for the trials in February and Puck had divulged what he’d learned about their relationships with each other, Finn had regularly asked Puck, “Are you _sure_ they’re all fucking?” for _weeks_ afterward. But his best friend comes out to him and all he does is say, “Okay,” once and then lets it drop?!

Puck sighed as he and Mike walked toward the choir room. They had one week after spring break to rehearse before regionals, but Schue (in all his laid-back-ness) had decided they needed tonight to just have fun. They should be getting themselves into performance mode, not screwing around or wallowing in confusion over their best friends’ non-reaction to them coming out of the closet….

They started off with Mercedes, who wanted the group to sing “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough” all together. They danced around as they sang, getting their blood pumping and setting the jovial mood for the evening. Some of them performed, others had songs they wanted everyone to sing. Everybody had at least two songs in mind. Despite his attitude earlier in the evening, Puck felt himself loosening up and truly enjoying himself.

When Schue announced that they had time for one more song, Finn and Kurt immediately demanded that they get the spot. Everyone sat down to listen, and Puck took a front-row seat. Finally his curiosity would be satisfied.

“So,” said Finn as Kurt set up their CD, “we’ve been working on this for a few weeks, hoping that we’d get a chance to use it.”

Kurt smirked as he joined Finn, looking over at Puck. “And this song is for you, Noah Puckerman.”

Puck sat up straighter in surprise. They’d been planning this for longer than he thought, and it was especially for _him_. He was glad he hadn’t known that over the last few days—he’d have gone completely crazy with the not-knowing.

Finn signaled to Mr. Schue, who started up their music.

“ _One. Two. One, two, three, four._

“ _Some love is just a lie of the heart._  
The cold remains of what began with a passionate start.  
And they may not want it to end.  
But it will; it’s just a question of when.

“ _I’ve lived long enough to have learned_  
The closer you get to the fire, the more you get burned.  
But that won’t happen to us,  
‘Cause it’s always been a matter of trust.”

Finn and Kurt alternately looked at each other and Puck while they sang; it was obvious that this song was also for each other. Puck was afraid to believe what his heart was thinking.

“ _Now, we know you’re an emotional boy,_  
It took a lot for you to not lose your faith in this world.  
And we can’t offer you proof  
But you’re gonna face a moment of truth.

“ _It’s hard when you’re always afraid._  
You just recover when another belief is betrayed.  
So break our hearts if you must;  
It’s a matter of trust.

“ _You can’t go the distance_  
With too much resistance.  
I know you have doubts,  
But for god’s sake, don’t shut us out.

“ _This time, you’ve got nothing to lose._  
You can take it; you can leave it; whatever you choose.  
We won’t hold back anything  
And we’ll walk away fools or kings.

“ _Some love is just a lie of the mind._  
It’s make-believe until it’s only a matter of time.  
And some might have learned to adjust,  
But then it never was a matter of trust.

“ _I’m sure you’re aware, love,  
We’ve all had our share of_ ”

To Puck’s amazement, Finn and Kurt took hold of each other’s hands without looking away from him.

“ _Believing too long  
When the whole situation was wrong._

“ _Some love is just a lie of the soul,_  
A constant battle for the ultimate state of control  
After you’ve heard lie upon lie;  
There can hardly be a question of why.

“ _Some love is just a lie of the heart,_  
The cold remains of what began with a passionate start.  
But that can’t happen to us,  
‘Cause it’s always been a matter of trust.

“ _It’s a matter of trust._  
It’s always been a matter of trust.  
It’s a matter of trust.  
‘Cause it’s always been a matter of trust.”

Puck practically tackled Finn and Kurt when they’d finished, tears in all of their eyes.

Mercedes, bless her, gently ushered everyone else out of the choir room. When he was certain they were alone, Puck pulled back from the embrace. Eyes flicking from Kurt to Finn, he said softly, “I’ve been thinking a lot lately.”

“About what,” Finn asked, smiling lightly. It was obvious he knew where this was going but was letting Puck have his moment anyway.

“This,” he said, squeezing his arms around them both. “Us. The three of us, together.”

Kurt looked at both of the boys he had fallen for. “I want to have that. With the two of you. If it’s something you both think could make you happy, I want to give it a try.”

Still smiling gently, Finn moved his hands so that one was in each of the others’ hair “I’ve been thinking about it since before sectionals. I just didn’t realize until the Feds were here in February that it might be at all possible to have you both.”

Puck gave a relieved laugh and hugged both boys close. “So, we’re really doing this?”

Finn laughed happily, pulled back from the three-way hug, and, without warning, dove toward Puck for a deep kiss. Their tongues stroked and explored while their fingers twisted in each other’s hair. After a long moment, they pulled back, panting.

“Fuck, that’s hot,” Kurt said under his breath.

Laughing, Puck turned to Kurt. “Now us,” he said teasingly. They shared a much slower but no less passionate kiss. And when they were finished, Finn took Kurt’s face in his hands, dipped him backward, and gave him a deep, thorough, but hurried kiss.

Puck watched them, unable to believe how much better his life was today compared to ten months ago. He didn’t know what his future would look like; there was so much that was still unknown—the baby, the success of glee club, and college, just to start with. But he was sure that he could get through it, with these boys by his side.

**Author's Note:**

> I tried _so hard_ to make this angsty. I don't know if I have trouble with that in general, or if this story just wouldn't be written that way. But I loved writing this, and even if it wasn't what I planned for it to be, I'm pretty happy with the result. I hope you enjoyed it, too!
> 
> Also, there was a lot that I wanted to include that didn't make the final cut, because this was already way longer than I had intended it to be. I'm hoping to turn this into a series eventually, because a lot got left out about the development of Finn, Puck, and Kurt's relationship. I also want to give some background about how the BAU got to where they are at the start of the story. I'm not making any promises, but that's my current plan. :)


End file.
